flawed.
always.
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Ishak Johari. 18 this year. 19 next year. 20 two years after. 21 three years.. Ah,you get the point.
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Monday, 4 May 2009
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Hello world.For those of you who missed my posts,you might be well entertained by the tag battle at my tagboard which ended about last week.And,in accordance to answering Daniel,NO.THIS IS NOT AN ATTENTION SEEKING GIMMICK.I just made one post,and they were the ones who responded.Bagi siapa yang makan cili,maka dia terasalah pedasnya.And for those who did stood up for me or at least didn't splurt out vulgarities on my tagboard,thank you.Now for those of you who really,really missed my post,I will tell you what has been going on these past few days(or weeks).On Monday,20th April 2009,I was sent to the hospital for collapsing into unconciousness in front of my lift.And no,I wasn't prononced dead upon arrival.The doctors first diagnosised me with epilepsy,a very serious medical condition that would cause me to have fits for the rest of my life.
Let me tell you how I felt then.I am a man with strong attributes to athleticism,meaning that I am athletic.To be diagnosised with this condition would mean that I would never,ever again do what I love most,and that is running.I was a broken man.In that quiet ward that night,only two sounds can be heard.The sound of nurse-bells going off,and the soung of my sobbing.Yes,dear readers,I was crying throuhout my first night at the hospital.And why shouldn't I?I was becoming a sickly boy just overnight.
By the second day I was in hospital,doctors contemplated that I might not have epilepsy,but they were still worried about my condition.So I have to undergo an EEG scan to determine exactly my diagnosis.We were unlucky,because by the end of the day,the team of 5 neurological doctors were unable to confirm my illness.I was to undergo a second scan,the Magnetic Reasoning Imaging (MRI) scan.By this time,I was nervous beyond imagination.
On the morning of the third day I simply could not eat anything out of nervousness.At exactly noon,I underwent that scan.And the results took forever to be produced,I swear!But by the end of the day,I knew what my illness was.Well,it's not exactly an illness,but I have a weak left brain.
So there you go.A weak left brain.It means that every single morning when I wake up,I will be greeted by a sharp pain at my left temple.As the days go by,my accurancy will fall,my left eyesight may fail and I may even become speech impaired.
Untuk Miss A,abang harap keadaan abang ini tak akan pernah mengubah apa-apa dalam perhubungan kita berdua.Abang tidak meminta simpati dari awak,abang cuma harap yang awak dapat menerima abang,itu sahaja.Percayalah,keadaan abang memang dah berubah.Tetapi niat abang tak akan pernah berubah.Abang masih berharap bahawa abang akan menjadi orang yang lebih baik untuk awak,supaya persahabatan kita ini akan menjadi sesuatu yang lebih bermakna.
To my friends that I see on Saturdays,I am deeply sorry.It is not my intention not to see you guys again,but now my health and mindset has become something so important to me.This is my future.For your knowledge,I am now undergoing rehabilation and training at NUH,so that I may learn to accept who I am.This will end on October 24th,and I will be back on November 14th,I promise.No,I swear.
To the world,this is a lesson.An eye-opener.Look at me now.A former short tempered person who cannot even feel anger anymore without risking getting stabs of pain in his head.A former debator who might never debate again because literally,he has become mentally crippled,if not slightly.
And finally,let me take this opputurnity to vindicate my friend Salbiah.I have nothing going on with her.But I must stress the fact that I find her such an intelligent and shrewd woman.She does not think far like I do,but she does think older than her age suggest (she is 16 this year).Of my latest tag-reply to insan,I had expected her to shrewdly guess who insan is.For this occasion thoughnI was disappointed.And let me tell you once again,I am not with her.I am happily with Miss A now.But any guy who does get Salbiah in the future,let me say this,"You're one lucky bastard,you.".
Post ends.
@ 4:49 pm