flawed.
always.
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Ishak Johari. 18 this year. 19 next year. 20 two years after. 21 three years.. Ah,you get the point.
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Saturday, 27 November 2010
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If I had ruled Singapore,I would..Well,do many things firstly. I would do a complete overhaul of our policy,make sure there is never a single poor on the streets of Singapore,and everyone would have a Mercedes Benz C-Class. No,make that Lamborghini.
But then again,it's easy to make promises isn't it? We get them everytime someone thinks he's hard enough to become our leader. New lifts,more money,info on how we covered up our own mistakes,heck,I'd be surprised if a candidate promises in the next GE that everyone would get free candy floss all year. That way even I would vote (except that won't be able to vote in 2012 because that's when the world ends right?).
If I was leader of Singapore,I would firstly make sure the citizens won't be a confused lot. Because that's what we are right now,aren't we? We allow stuff like bar-top dancing,we argue and advocate for the removal of 377A,and here we are literally shouting to the world the we are Asians,which would mean we are traditionally conservative.Got link?
I would make sure that there is no freedom of speech. Why? Because the amount of freedom we are allowed on our speeches embarrasses me. Seriously,limit that freedom to only one place? Come on. No freedom please. I'm much happier with that,because at least my Malaysian cousin won't laugh at my great country.
What else? Oh,I would really practise competition. I would not allow just one bus company to monopolise our public transport system (I freaking hate the service by the way). I would allow opposition parties to exist of course,but with only one exception. Their leaders must not be full of crap ideas (I'm looking at you,one certain Mr. Chee). I would banish the term 'local music' and tell these eggheads to go international. Or else,if they really want to make themselves local,I would force them to come up with a thousand different versions of "Rasa Sayang Eh".
I would be kind to,and donate $10m to our Great Comrade North Korea,because right now their Great Leader is too shy to admit that he is in Great Desperation. I would tell our blur sotong neighbours to stop burning their own forest. I would tell our neighbours up north to just shoot dead their Opposition Leader,because hearing him talk about current affairs is like hearing my brother talk about Manchester United (He still thinks Beckham plays for United,the idiot).
Oh,and just for the fun of it,I would give all my citizens free candy floss.And also shoot them dead if they try to go back to work after office hours. We need the sex and the babies,I'll tell them.
The government (and many other parties) will of course sue me if the read this. But I've got the feeling they won't. One,because I will never rule Singapore (no political ambitions,sorry). And two,because they are too busy thinking what to promise if they were made leaders. Again.
What a wonderful world.
@ 7:51 pm