so not into this.

2011-11-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

Dari kecil,
Ku dididik ibu hal dunia.
Katanya,
Dunia ini benci kesedihan,
Tetapi penuh dengannya.
Kata ibu,
Dimana kita berpijak,
Lakukan dengan senyuman.
Selalu-selalu buat orang tersenyum,
Agar tak dibenci,
Sentiasa disukai.
Kini,
Kemana sahaja angin membawaku,
Disitulah ku pamerkan seniku,
Membuat orang tersenyum,
Gembira melihatku.
Namun,
Hati masih janggal,
Seperti kurang sesuatu,
Mungkin masih aku dibenci?
Mungkin bukan di zahir,
Mungkin di batin hati?
Kembaraku pun bermula,
Mencari jawapan penenang jiwa.
Sekarang,
Jawapan kuketemu.
Dunia benci kesedihan,
Tetapi penuh dengannya,
Kerana aku bukan dibenci,
Hanya tidak dicintai.
Sedih bukan?

2011-10-25T00:08:00.002+08:00

Yup,broken heart for about the second time in my life. No,third,counting my knee.
No use talking about it,no use crying over burnt cheese. Ujian Allah..Kadang-kadang,pernah aku fikir.Mesti begitu banyak dosa yang aku dah buat,hingga diuji begini sekali. Setiap kali,aku doa kepadaNya supaya dapat kurangkan sikit ujian ini. Aku hanya insan lemah. Ya Allah,Kau sahaja yang tahu diriku lebih dariku. Kalau betul aku insan yang tabah,berikanku petunjuk,agar aku lebih mengenali diriku. Terlalu banyak buat masa ini Ya Allah. Mahu sahaja aku kongsi dgn kawan,tapi aku takut mereka memperkecilkan aku seperti kawan2ku dahulu Ya Allah. Aku pohon dari Kau keberanian,kekuatan dan kurangkan perangai was-wasku. Amin.

LA training has been difficult for me to focus in these past two weeks. So many thoughts about many things. I hope Mr Ramli Ram isn't angry.Really,I'll try my best.

Till here now.

2011-10-14T18:09:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time,hasn't it? So long,I think I may have to reintroduce myself again. Hi,my name is Ishak Johari. Second year,pursuing a diploma in Social work. Currently assistant head of Malay Drama in my school. Quite happy with my life,except for one thing. I'm still single. Now in love with a girl who might be with someone else. Might be not. I am now senior trainer for a.L.I.V.E. at Hasanah mosque. Earning just enough to live and enjoy life. I don't party that hard though.

I now enjoy sneaking out at night to enjoy the cool night air. I'll be walking around,thinking just about anything. It's been a year,487 days in fact,since I've left Aida Adriana,better known previously as Miss A. Stupid young love that was. I hope I've grown wiser since the last two years,so the next time I am with someone,it'll last. (Up to this point I'll be yabbling hahahaahaha.)

I have something to say to the girl of my dreams,so here goes.

Hello,

I don't know if you knew up to this point about my feelings for you. I'm just gonna say that I like you. A lot. I'll even use the word 'love' to describe this feeling if you don't mind. I've been trying with all my might to at least know something about you. Well,I'm not handsome as you might have hoped your dream guy to be. But I do know how to draw that line for everything in my life. Most guys promise to be with you all the time. I don't go for that bull. You need your studies,your family and your friends. I will always be there when you need me though. I am a straightforward guy,so I am really dumbfound about finding all these sweet words to make you happy. My last girlfriend left me because I wasn't sweet enough. I hope that you can accept me like I am. I will care in any way I can. I will stop smoking,I swear. I will never party with wild hot sexy girls. I'll even eat a lot of sweets if you want me to be a sweet guy. And I promise not to make lame jokes. Be mine?

If only I could find the courage to say that in front of her.

2011-01-28T20:15:00.001+08:00

Love makes you stupid - Bruno Mars.

See,I'm this lonely guy broken off from his ex-girlfriend 5 months ago,and yes,I've been looking for someone to fill my empty heart. But I'm not desperate. I'm not someone who's going to die tomorrow just because I didn't have enough love. I'm stable,or at least,my feelings are.

Then she came along with a broken heart. Crying,whimpering and whining until it bleeds my ears. And as someone who knows how hurting it can be when you lose some you put your heart into,I gave her my sympathy. I checked on her,acted as her virtual tissue,laughed with her,and cheered her up. And somehow,my acts caused her to fall for me. Or so she says.

See I knew from the day she confessed,that it wasn't real. I knew,that she fell for me because there were really no other guys around. I'm just a plaster for the cracks in her heart. To put it in a word,I'm disposable.

But hell,I said wait.I still wanted to think,and think I did.I figured,why not? Maybe when her scars are gone, she'll see me for the real guy I was. And maybe,just maybe,being with her will make me forget that other hopeless case in my heart.And then, after two months of making her wait,I said it.

She was overjoyed,she says.And called me all sorts of mushy things.My ears were on the verge of bleeding but it didn't. I smiled looking at her face,and she was beautiful.My heart lit a tiny spark,and burst into flames of love.I felt strange though.

Because those flames were flickering.

One week.Hell,I forgot what the world record for the shortest relationship was,but I'm sure this one will be up there. It's like she was in a car,and I'm the drive-thru.She got her meal,and sped off.The best thing of this all?I wasn't hurt.

Oh,and I've wiped off that hopeless case off my mind.My heart if you would have it.

I feel like the biggest fool in the world though.

2010-11-27T19:51:00.000+08:00

If I had ruled Singapore,I would..

Well,do many things firstly. I would do a complete overhaul of our policy,make sure there is never a single poor on the streets of Singapore,and everyone would have a Mercedes Benz C-Class. No,make that Lamborghini.

But then again,it's easy to make promises isn't it? We get them everytime someone thinks he's hard enough to become our leader. New lifts,more money,info on how we covered up our own mistakes,heck,I'd be surprised if a candidate promises in the next GE that everyone would get free candy floss all year. That way even I would vote (except that won't be able to vote in 2012 because that's when the world ends right?).

If I was leader of Singapore,I would firstly make sure the citizens won't be a confused lot. Because that's what we are right now,aren't we? We allow stuff like bar-top dancing,we argue and advocate for the removal of 377A,and here we are literally shouting to the world the we are Asians,which would mean we are traditionally conservative.Got link?

I would make sure that there is no freedom of speech. Why? Because the amount of freedom we are allowed on our speeches embarrasses me. Seriously,limit that freedom to only one place? Come on. No freedom please. I'm much happier with that,because at least my Malaysian cousin won't laugh at my great country.

What else? Oh,I would really practise competition. I would not allow just one bus company to monopolise our public transport system (I freaking hate the service by the way). I would allow opposition parties to exist of course,but with only one exception. Their leaders must not be full of crap ideas (I'm looking at you,one certain Mr. Chee). I would banish the term 'local music' and tell these eggheads to go international. Or else,if they really want to make themselves local,I would force them to come up with a thousand different versions of "Rasa Sayang Eh".

I would be kind to,and donate $10m to our Great Comrade North Korea,because right now their Great Leader is too shy to admit that he is in Great Desperation. I would tell our blur sotong neighbours to stop burning their own forest. I would tell our neighbours up north to just shoot dead their Opposition Leader,because hearing him talk about current affairs is like hearing my brother talk about Manchester United (He still thinks Beckham plays for United,the idiot).

Oh,and just for the fun of it,I would give all my citizens free candy floss.And also shoot them dead if they try to go back to work after office hours. We need the sex and the babies,I'll tell them.

The government (and many other parties) will of course sue me if the read this. But I've got the feeling they won't. One,because I will never rule Singapore (no political ambitions,sorry). And two,because they are too busy thinking what to promise if they were made leaders. Again.

What a wonderful world.

2010-11-21T21:59:00.000+08:00

It's very unusual for me to type out here what I really feel, since I have always been the one to keep a straight face and not to express my true feelings. But I really can't hold onto this one much longer, not when it actually involves someone else.I call this girl Light-yes,it is a girl-and this note goes out for you,Light.

I don't know how this started. I guess when I first shook your hand I was already transfixed by you. You know,I had the hardest time that day we first met,trying to tell myself that I am attached. I may say otherwise everyday,but you are beautiful for me,in looks and in manner.Sure,there were a lot of things that don't like about you. But those dislikes are the ones I can live with. It took me 7 months to realise that I didn't have a crush on you. It was more than that. I tried desperately to stay in my relationship so that I can forget you. I tried to find someone else other than you when that relationship ended. I swear, I tried everything to convince myself you're just an infatuation of the mind. I failed.

I finally told you how I felt. I opened up to you about what actually I've been doing.Yes, I lied.Yes, I am a good actor. Yes, in a way I have done you a disservice. I wasn't surprised you know (I swear) when you rejected me. You said that you have your own reasons. Slowly I'm getting it. I'm getting why now.

Am I disappointed? Bloody yes I am. But am I angry? No. Have I given up on you then? No.

I'm going to do this the hard way now. No,I won't bash you up (A little humour there). But I'm going to fight. I'm going to win your heart, like every man does to a woman. I know there is hope. Your willingness to accept me back as a close friend was like a fire burning through my skin. I know that maybe you don't mean it, but to me it's like you saying that I still stand a chance. And I will take that chance. Maybe "I love you" right now might sound a little weird. But you've got to know that I really am into you.

Whew,all let out.

2010-10-11T21:45:00.002+08:00

I have not been writing for a long time.Not that people go to this blog anyway.But if you do,then don't press on the other links first.Read through what I have to say.Because it MAY be important for you,for your future reference.

When I talk,I try not to be rude as much as I can.When on the net,I do post aggressive questions,but I never tend to take my own stand.EVER.I do not try to tell other people off or even advise them(if so,then I do advise very gently and ambiguously).I try and keep my opinions to myself.

Having said that,I do think it's a bit rude to go to one's facebook page,blog,tumblr,wordpress or even myspace(yes,I still do that crap) and post judgemental comments on people's ideas.If someone wants to post his views on certain current issue or a story he heard somewhere,then it is his right.And never attack that person on his comments.Just be polite,post your own views,and apologize for giving your views(this sounds crappish but hey,I've tried it and it works.People don't get angry with me).

So to anyone out there(especially to my students at Madrasah Hasanah),be mindful on how you act online.I am sorry if this certain post bothers anyone,I just felt like I have something to say about current things I've been seeing on the net.

Oh I forgot.Please try not to be anonymous when making comments.When you hurt an individual's feelings and remain anonymous,it only enrages that individual more.

Assalamualaikum.

2010-03-31T15:26:00.000+08:00

Before I begin,I would like to say that I'm probably going to ruffle some feathers with this article.I confess myself already used to it,and so,I will proceed with this article.

Last night I had a talk with my sister,cousins and some friends,all students of Madrasah Al-Irsyad.I am a former student myself.Being a student,I am never free from the dangers of breaking a rule.In fact,during my ten years with my beloved school I remember breaking at least three rules each year.That totals up to 30 in all.I am never proud of it,but recently,I nearly was.

Some of you will have questions in your mind now.Allow me to settle you.I am nearly proud of my record now,because Irsyad students nowadays break more rules in 4 months than I did in ten years.Scoff if you want,but this is not really far from the truth.This gives you the impression that Irsyad students are bad,doesn't it?

They are not,I assure you.They are not.The real picture is,and I am not exaggerating,absolutely terrifying.Irsyad is arguably the first choice madrasah education right now.The society now look up to us as leaders in Progress.We are well-known fighters.

Sadly though,there is one area where we fought too much.Pardon me,but it seems right now the school is desperately scrambling for perfection in terms of discipline.In just two years,we have introduced technology,isolation and goverment-esque systems into our discipline.

While these things may have worked,I am more concerned with another system that is slowly creeping into the pure doors of my beloved school.I am not sure what to call it,but I can liken it to something.

When Communism was all over China,a group of leaders led by Mao Zhedong tried many ways to push China forward.Too many ways.Some of them were actually quite successful,albeit to a small extent,but were never pursued further,because these men were too afraid of future failure.

That is what I see in Irsyad now.In our effort to have top-notch discpline,we have introduced too many rules and even far too many methods of executing them.Even worser,some of the students and teachers are not even aware when a new rule is put up.To simplify matters,I think it would be safe to render my rul handbook which I got just 2 years ago completely useless.Most of the rules in there have either changed,or have become completely non-existent.

This sudden surge of new or changed rules have caused students to break even more of them.And why not?The more rules you make,the more chances of it being broken.These students are also under pressure by the harder syllabuses of education,and let me pose these questions.Do we really need to pressure them more by forcing these absurd pieces of crap (pardon my language) on them?What are you (the discipline board) trying to do?Are you really inviting them to hate you more than they already do?

(To students of Irsyad,let's be fair,we don't really love the word 'discipline",do we?)

In the long term,if this goes on,I assure you,we wil actually be teaching kids that hey,it's okay to make rules and laws without reviewing them,without asking for public opinion,without trials,without sanity.These JMS kids will grow up to be people even more frightening than terrorists.I assure you.

Because these are kids who we hope to lead us in the future.

Sanity.Organisation.Democracy.Bring those into our school.A normal goverment school can hold some sort of memorandum and debate for new rules it makes,why can't we?Or are we really any different from them?

Like I said,some people will call me crazy for this.Some will throw eggs.Some will want to spit in my face.It doesn't matter,for I have spoken and already at peace.I have done my part.My part to strive towards an Irsyad that we can all love,and look up to.

No matter how far I go,I will always love Madrasah Al-Irsyad

2010-03-27T21:16:00.002+08:00

Living and Surviving

I walk,
And a road stretches down before me.
Thorny and harmful and dangerous,
And all those words that frightened me.
I walk still and on.
And something breezes me.
"Been here before.Survived."
Yet those words do not calm me.
They fail,
And I fail.
Failed to gather my strength,
Failed to coax the baby inside me,
Failed to calm that lady in my heart,
But that lion-like soul still roared.
Oh,it dared to roar.
I lift,
And my concrete feet plods along.
And I coaxed that baby,calmed that lady inside,
Just a simple song.
"Don't worry,about anything.
Every little thing,is gonna be alright."
And my strength gathers as a storm does,
And that plod becomes a walk,
That walk becomes a march.
I walked that road alright,
Bruised and battered oh yes,
Still that lady,that baby sang,
For they knew it's all over,
I have lived and survived,
I'm breathing and I wont die.
Until next time there is,
because some way up north,
Another road lies.
And here we go again.

2010-03-07T22:10:00.002+08:00

When life gives you lemons,make lemonade.or throw it away and ask for apples instead.

Someone told me this lame joke just now.I laugh so hard(because I love lame jokes,being lame myself) until something hit me.well,not literally.I realised there's another meaning to it.here's how I looked at it.

When life gives you lemons,you can either proceed by accepting the fact and make the best out of it,or you can simply demand or work to change it.Yes,change the fact.It's not like we can't do anything about it just because 'Tuhan dah takdirkan,kita harus redha sahaja.

Don't get me wrong.I'm not an atheist.What I am trying to say here is,and let me continue in Malay,Tuhan memang sudah takdirkan sesuatu itu terjadi pada kita.Kita berhak,dan Tuhan tidak melarang kita untuk respon pada kejadian itu.We can sulk and moan.Or we can accept the fact and make the best out of it.OR,we can stand firm,say I won't accept this,and work towards changing it.

And if anyone thinks I'm challenging God,well I'm not.I'm glorfying him

Allah telah menjadikan manusia,supaya dia berfikir.
Tunduklah padaNya,tetapi janganlah menjadi ibarat bulu ayam yg terbang mengikut haluan angin.

I end here now.

2010-03-05T23:58:00.001+08:00

The last post was dedicated to many people,not someone.

I miss you guys.

2010-03-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

Missing.

While the wind blows along,
And the leaves made a song.
I realized I...missed you.
I've been missing you.

As I walked down the lane,
Remembering again,
The reel starts to play,
My thoughts gave away..

I have been missing you,
Every night I think of you.
It seems forever back then.
That the times would never end.

My hair dances to the rythm,
To the symphony of the wind.
Memories came flooding.
And I yearn for the past again.

As the drops beat my skin,
I wondered how you have been,
Are you fine?Are you well?
And they just would not quell.

I have been missing you,
Every night I think of you.
It seems forever back then.
That the times would never end.

As the darkness sets in,
I wondered again,
Was the last time a goodbye?
Or will there be another momont,
To meet up and cry again?

If there's one thing in the world,
I want to say most,
It'll be that I miss you.
I just miss you.

2010-03-03T23:33:00.002+08:00

As requested by filzah,here goes.

Well,to dyja,maiss and filzah,firstly i have to say that I can't wait to have you guys with me at Nanyang poly.It is as the students claim,the most exciting poly(I said exciting,so ngee ann students,take note.don't go aftr my throat.) in singapore.Alrite,for dyja,nursing classes usually start in the morning.it's one of the courses whose timing sucks.for maiss and filzah,you really have to come to nanyang in the morning.pure bliss.seriously.org pun tak bnyk sngt.Everything in Nanyang is quite nice actually.except for design students,korang btl2 suay sebab lift design always rosak.entah virus apa agaknye.

Food in Nanyang is okay-okayish.North canteen ad yg sedap jgk.tapi quite mahal.kalau korang nak enjoy price mcm kat skla dulu,pergilah menziarahi south canteen.but it depends on luck.sometimes you get a place,sometimes you don't.nanyang students ni cheapskate semuanye,makanan tak sedap pun dorg beli.asalkan sedap.

me? I just eat at McDonald's.oh yah,McD kat luar lain dari McD skla.skla nye semua murah@..

most recommended food?try the waffles near McD.power banget.want good heavy food?Try Koufu's nasi ayam.$2.50 and rasenye lain dari koufu2 yg lain.sedap....

ok,i hope i posted what you wanted.these are just basics.my experience blum lagi.drama mama beb.hehe..

2010-03-01T21:09:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time.

Yepp,yessir.
So yeah,I started school already.no surprises at the new school.politics still the same.Org tu tak suka org ni.Org ni ada crush kat org tu.And org yang tengah type ni tak kuasa nak layan anasir@ begini.yup,the new Ishak Johari is really the heck-care sort.

I've been teaching part-time now.And I tell you,the pay sucks.Yet I'm still teaching,why?
Because I love it now.I don't know,I never even thought of being a teacher,let alone one with crap wages.But somehow,I just can't go one day without teaching.so much to the extent that I even teach on sundays.yes,you heard that right.Sundays,where people should be relaxing.on weekdays,I tech tuition o one primary 2 kid and one O level guy.

I guess,I am beginning to appreciate my teachers at Irsyad.They really teach with passion,I tell you.Even though they get paid crap wages.Okay,maybe they won't call their wages crap.I call it because they really should be receiving much more for dedication showed.

I'm pledging $2 at least everytime I see an Irsyad donation box now.And I hope it will help the school,even in a small way.Irsyad has the most toughest and dedicated bunch of educators I know.They deserve this donation.

This entry was brought to you by Irsyad Funds Department.
Nah,just kidding.I thought this on my own.

Well,I updated.so yeah.

2009-12-21T16:46:00.002+08:00

Okay,firstly,I'm not dead (but thanks for guessing syafiq) but I have really been busy with my life.Okay,not 24/7 busy but still,busy.

This post was also done because everytime I call people,the first thing they mention is my blog.even nabmo has 'melarat' and reminded me on my tagboard.But hey,nabmo.I don't hate you for this aite? :-)

I was quite surprised when people actually wrote on my board.Even more surprised when they do actually mention it.Blogs aren't supposed to be mentioned in public (at least in my opinion.) so thank you,for caring about my blog,which means more than caring for me.

Alright newsflash.I have been well,thank you.I got my new Transitions glasses today (syafiq,design specs aku lagi lawa dari kau nye tau.) and I quit my job.yup,skrg ni da free as a bird.Oh,I dreamed that I got my O's result already.I didn't do well though.
Life actually has bee Double H actually (Hectic and Hell).Bayangkanlah,in 2 months I only got to switch my PC on only twice.Mepek kan,kan,kan?

I haven't been feeling good lately.And I haven't been in contact with anyone except Muhd.Simply because I can't figure out which ones I miss and which ones I don't (ouches,yes,but honest truth).

Ok,signing off now.
(and to any of you who reads this and has my phone number,give me a shout.you have just won a mystery prize.)

2009-11-20T16:45:00.002+08:00

It's been ages,hasn't it?

O levels now over,and I'm spending the next two months worrying over my rsult.screw the markers.take their own sweet time.in other news,Ishak has now started working with his father's company,so now at least he won't be bored till death.

What else?

Oh yeah,the O's were frighteningly unpredictable,so I'm not going to say if I passed or not.i hope I will though.

In truth,life as Ishak Johari is really boring nowsadays.Well yeah,seeing as I spent 3 months or so studying and then poof!freedom comes.kind of like a blitzkrieg.yeah,that should be it.

But there are ups and downs though.and most of it were shared with my ever-stunning Miss A.sometimes I cause a fight,and sometimes,her.but i'm not compaining.you always get all those cutwe fights too don't you?

Ok,I hope no one else has been hurt pr anything.and actually,I don't know why I'm updatng,seeing as people don't do blogs anymore.bubbye.

2009-09-25T17:26:00.003+08:00

Hello world.
This is Ishak Johari with some pictures(like,finally) for you to savour.
I won't say much,so just take a view of those pictures that I took while hari raya-ing at school today.Peace.

This is me and Thalhah,a pri 2 student.

Nuff said.You know who these two camwhores are.
Hari Raya Family photo 2009.
(Gelap sey muka...)
Ishak Johari in a long-sleeved shirt.
(The moon was blue that night.) I just pulled in random boys for this picture.All because we have the colour red!

2009-09-11T11:14:00.002+08:00

I AM NOT DEAD.

Yeap.I had to take a while for this to sink in,at the hospital,but when it did I felt really,really,really,really,really happy.okay,I admit.part of my happiness came from the morphine they injected in me.so now I know why they call it the 'happy drug'.okay.Irrelevant.
Woke up,and first thing I did was to text my mum and Miss A.next,came my bullying buddy,jemm.after that,spent the next 15 minutes fighting off a young nurse who wanted to sponge my body.My body is for my future wife please,thank you.

Went home that very day,at my own request.truth is,I just can't stand the uncle who was talking non-stop,spitting out vulgarities beside me.I had to save myself from pummeling him to his death.Rested at home.

Next day,baru nak relax,kena buat itulah,inilah...so I did all the stuff out of love for my dear mum.Frankly,I'm glad I lived.Like really.so the person getting 65% of my love now is my mum because that's what I should have done anyway all these years.

Okay,thank you,all you people that have prayed for me,wished me and even hold their spongebob squarepants dolls for me.Thank you,I appreciate it very much.Now I'm out.

Miss A,hold on,hang on.I still love you.

2009-09-05T13:04:00.002+08:00

Hello world.
I am currently on my friend's laptop which he so illegally brings to a charity event.I wanted to call him a moron,but decided against it.Why?Because I just found a way to take advantage of the situation.And if I call him a moron for bringing along his lappy,then I'm calling myself a moron too for using it.so yeah,definitely not calling this not-so-clever-friend-of mine a moron.
Okay.I guess you people miss me?No?oh fine...I'm updating anyway.

Monday.
Got back my English results and it way surprising.just ask yourself.how can someone not even try to do the paper well and still get A1?hee.okay,okay.I'd better stop boasting,I know.anyway,Mdm Baizah called my piece of composition a "matured,bautiful,creative writing.".Too bad its splattered by grammar mistake.still,A1.can't complain.Malay results were okay2 la I guess.

Tuesday.
Holiday.did nothing except to bet with hannah that I am really good at drawing.And hey,I do know how to draw objects at least,so I'm not really a talentless moron.Was imam for terawih,and I really pity my jemaah.sorry guys,I'll try to read faster.And screw my uncle who taught me to read slowly but didn't really tell me it's only for personal use,and not when you are leading prayers.

Wednesday.
Geography!C5!only!aaaaargghh!after all that hard work.and I got only C5!I have to say,biggest disappointment ever.Combined Science.E8.no surprises.I did not study.so there's my bleeding reward.Arab,E8.no comment.

Thursday.
I don't even know of anything memorable I did,except to draw a very beautiful picture(in my opinion).

Friday.
Finally announced to the whole Sec 5 community what I will be undergoing on September 9.Like I said guys,pray for me.And even if I go,I'm proud to have known you people.Really.

Okay,to get emotional now.To Miss A,I am really sorry for all the things I've done in the past.Should I not make it,then I want to tell you that I regret not making your life better.You deserve so much more from me,yet Time and Fate does not permit me to give you what you so deserve.But if I do make it,I will make it my number one mission to show you what I am made up of.I am much,much more then the old joker you see at school.I promise you.I will fight.

And hey,here's to someone.Izni Nurqistina.
Hope you are well over there.I just remembered you all of a sudden and yeah,Im dedicating this small space for you.Remember 2003,when I sat in front of you?We always talked about living our dreams.I can't remember what your dream was,but hey,here's the thing.Live your dream alright?I'm not sure if I can live mine after this.I hope I do.But should I can't,then you should.It's like a pact we made to ourselves six years ago.And hey,you were the first real friend I've had besides Rahman,you know that right?
On the night of September 8,I beg you to remember me.All of you.Miss A,Izni,and the whole buch of people from the Sec 5 community.Im out.

2009-08-22T12:03:00.000+08:00

Hello again.
Let us flick through what happened this week.

Monday.
We had English Paper 1 and Combined Science 5116 Paper 5(Practical),so there's really nothing we can study about.So,in the morning I just slacked around as usual,waiting impatiently for the english paper to actually start,because some ustaz was blabbing about some probihition on something and some prayers which I can't really be bothered about.Finally had the english paper,and it was a bit hard.Kind of like a literature paper.Yep.Oh,and I got my first gift from her!Hooyeay!Science practical was hard not because of the paper itself,but because of some hooligan-ish Junied boys making a ruckus.Oh well,more reason to hate them.

Tuesday.
Malay Paper was undoubtedly the easiest paper I have ever done during my 17 years of life.Period.And Chemistry was the hardest,so it's kind of like yin and yang.Apa aku merepek ni?
Never mind.Nothing happened.Boring day.

Wednesday.
Mathematics Paper 2.The one paper I've been waiting for.The challenge I was relishing.Okay2.Cut long story short,it was hard.But very,very enjoyable.I hope I pass.I hope I pass.Want to get to Nanyang.Like,seriously.So please,You listening right now,right.?Please grant this servant's one wish.

Thursday.
What did we have on Thursday?oh yeah.Physics and Geography 2.Physics was un-concentratable because I was feeling angry bout something.And hey,I didn't revise as well.So that's surely a fail,no?Geography is my new favourite subject,because it was very very very very very easy!Went home early,because there's nothing else to revise for the next day,as it is only an MCQ paper.

Friday.
Science Paper 1 was okay.And then....Basketball all the way!Haha.And I discovered something.I can't play in centre-guard.I must be allowed to roam freely in order to actually have a decent game.Example?In the second game my team was falling behind 2-9 at one point.But then I was allowed to roam freely,with Naufal taking my position.We finally came back to win 11-9,with me and a certain new 3-pointer expert by the name of Arif being the main men leading the comeback.

Hey,I am good at basketball,who knew?
Oh yeah,I'm writing a story later on.
Do look out for 'The Tiger and The Lioness".

Shoo.

2009-08-14T20:23:00.000+08:00

Let's do this and get it over with.

So,a lot has happened this week.Well of course a lot has happened.It's exams week!
Okay,so on Tuesday we did not really have any paper,so we spent our time revising and sleeping(some of them did.I'm a good boy..I studied).I revised,or rather,memorized my Geography as I did not really touch my book all year.So I was memorizing like some zombie when sufian remarked,"eh,kau hafal Geo ke berzikir pada tuhan?".Because of that,I abandoned my post and flirted,hugged and even kissed him on the neck during the last 20 mins of school.Inilah budak madrasah sekarang.Banyak tak betul.Hehe.Alright.Was kidding.

Wednesday.I did my Arabic exam and it was okay,except for Insya which was Oh-my-gosh-takde-topic-lain-ke! hard.Went home,and revised oh so hard on maths for 4 straight hours.Yep,you heard that right.And yes,it was from Ishak Johari.I then watched tv all night.Bujang Lapok.All time favourite.

Thursday.If people had not reminded me,I would have forgotten that English exams do exist.So there I was sitting around like a blur boy while the rest sweat over how to actually excel in that paper.Result?Well,I think I'm gonna get A2 or below for the first time in history.Maths was purely the hardest paper I have done in my whole life,all thanks to Sir R.The hardest up to that point was History 2/2008.Never mind.Went home at 4:00.Had my reasons.Reached home,and spent the whole night memorizing Physical Geography.Was a nervous wreck by the time I switched off the lights.

Friday.Malay was horrendous as usual,made more complex by my writers' block which had to surface at that very moment.And hey,Geography was actually quite easy!Yes it was!Haha.Won't be expecting high maks,but certainly expecting a pass.Did my Friday prayers,and then the fun with Uncle Hamdan's family begins.First,we went to ICA building to make cousin asmaa's IC.Da tua la orang tu..hehe.And then on the way out,we discussed about where to eat.Finally settled on Orchard.Took the MRT,and yep,kalau dah kat Lavender tu da tentunya ada budak Al-Sagoff,kalau ada budak Al-Sagoff tau-tau jela ada sape.Ok,story continues.We went all the way to City Hall when it finally hit me.Where the heck in Orchard can we find a coffee shop?Told this to my uncle,and he look aghast.Musnah harapan nak tengok Orchard Road.hehe.This following conversation then took place.

Asmaa :Abe dah tak boleh pegi Orchard ni nak pegi mane?
Ita :Pegi Bugis ah makan dekat dengan Masjid Sultan.
Me :A'ah ye.Abe ita ingat senang kalau nak balek dari sane?Nak pegi je da jalan jauh.
Asmaa :Jalan jauh?Tak nak la macam tu.
Ayun :Pegi Vivo City ah.
Asmaa' :No way!Akak tak suke jalan kat shopping centre pakai baju skolah.Pegi Imm ah.
Me :Imm tu bkn shopping centre ke?
Asmaa' :(grins)hee...
Uncle :Senang kiteorg pegi Newton.Jadi korg pun boleh tengok sekolah lame.

And just like that,we were headed off to NFC,my most favourite eating place.And my favourite stall was open!Hooyeay!After eating,we as a family cam-whored a bit around the school and told frightening ghost stories.Was really tired by the time I got home.Got home,and rested.

To my Uncle and cousins,thank you.You made me smile on a very depressing day,and no one has ever done that.This is why I love my family.Cousins and all.
Mum's home.Hooyeay!
I'm out.

2009-08-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

Ishak Johari.Is.Back.

Yeah well,it's been a while since I last posted,so let's get on with the updates shall we?
Focus on,Friday.
Had a perfectly normal day I think.Little argument with someone,but was ok by the night.But then,had to send my little brother to hospital because he had all the symptoms of the H1N1 flu.Plus he had asthma so yeah,pretty dangerous.Didn't stay at the hospital though.
At night,had a convo with her and we settled all the differences we had up until that point.Then,bed.

Next morning.Went to the hospital my dear little devil-ish brother who's obviously not up to mischief and found his condition had worsened.Depression level went up a notch.After that,went to Al-Junied open house which was "I-swear-to-God-it-was!" boring.But I had a funny incident though.

Guy: Dik,boleh tanye dah pukul berape tak sekarang?
Me: Jap eh.(Looks at hand,apparently at my watch)
Guy: (starts laughing)
Me: Pukul...eh jap.(in heart)>aku kan tak pakai jam?
Guy: (howls now in laughter)

So that's it.I really need to get a new watch.Or I can just bully my father to get one for me.hee.
Oh yeah,and I slept over at the hospital in case of emergency yeah.Got a cal around 1 a.m..Mum sent to NUH.Depression level really rising now.

Sunday.Went to NUH to visit mum.I actually cried.Yes,Ishak Johari.Cried.I promised her that I will be going to record the fireworks for her,knowing how much she loves fireworks.Then I went to Marina Bay with vengeance.Recorded them all.Even got the video of the Parade march by.Went back to NUH this time round to sleep over.

Today.Mum felt better,so I finally decided to let myself unwind and went to east coast.Studied(or rather,memorized) my Geography there.Then it started drizzling.(from then on,you can just imagine Ishak Johari acting like a 5-year-old,playing in the rain.)Was freezing went I went back.Haha.

This goes out to someone.
>Any doubts I had over you is now gone I think.I really appreciate what you did for me over the weekend,and I swear,if there is one way I can pay you back,I will.But now all I can do is to love you with my heart and soul.You are like my best friend.Wait,you are my best friend.Forever.And yeah,I really wish I could spend the rest of my life with you,though I have to let Him decide on that.

World,be my witness.
I love Miss A,no matter what.
End.Fin.

2009-08-07T18:07:00.000+08:00

Beneath the skin you have the limbs,
Beneath the limbs you have the heart,
Beneath the heart lies a soul.
It should be that way.
But I'm always the one astray.

And for every man there is woman,
Right behind him.
Someone he could love,care,
And share all his joys and tears.
It should be that way.

You can always live a lie.
But how long can you live it?
How long before you realise,
It's too late,and demise?

How far would you run,
Until Truth catches up with you?
How far would you run,
Before you fall into the pit,
Of Revelation?

Well I'm just saying,
Continue running if you want to.
For me,I'm done.
I taking this lie away,
From me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes,I agree.It was a bad piece of poem.I won't call this a poem actually.Sort of letting it out of the heart thingy.
Right,updates this coming Monday Insyallah.
Bye.

2009-07-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

Okay.Short one.
Had an inspected lesson just now.
Mdm S is so lucky that I was on a roll.She's gonna get rave reviews later on."Very good,Mdm!Your students seems to enjoy learning with you.Keep up the good work."
Haha.Just who was I kidding?Still,might happen though.
Best maths lesson ever because I got to solve all the questions thrown at me.Hee.
Okay.Tomorrow.Will be doing something good with someone Insyallah.That's all I think.

Hmm,very short.Very short indeed.

2009-07-24T20:01:00.000+08:00

I wonder what would happen to me if you hadn't said yes months ago.
I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't gone after you in the first place.
I would still be that contraversial boy who can't just keep his mouth shut.

But things have changed drastically since the last four months.I've changed.Some of these changes I do,I do it for you,because I love you.Some of the other changes,it happened because of you.You see,I'm not really the kind of person that gives a damn about the people around him.But since you,I've opened my eyes and began to take notice of the people surrounding me.

But something else creeps inside this heart of mind.You know,all these times I've said about how it hurts when I have to go through one day without talking to you?It really does happen,you know.Like for example,this week you had to go out with your parents.I don't really blame you,but somehow,this stupid heart seems to ache every single bloody second.I once said that Family comes First,but now I wish I could take it all back.I know I'm being selfish right now.

I want to tell you about this dream I had.I would wait for you at the bus station of our school,and we will board the bus together.I would then sit behind you(not by your side,of course.We are still madrasah students.) and then I will whisper about how much I love you at your back.We could take turns and swap places,and then I'll accompany you all the way to your stop,before making my way back.I don't know if this dram will ever come true,but I'm secretly hoping it will.

I hate this.This feeling tortures me.But yet I can't seem to let it go.And when I am on the bridge of doing it,Bliss devours me.

I can't help it.
I miss you.
And I love you.

2009-07-22T21:31:00.000+08:00

To Dearest,

I didn't know how much I meant to you all this time.4 1/2 months,and all I did was to moan about you.Getting myself hurt because of you.Yet I didn't know how much you have hurt yourself because of me.How could I not see it all these times?God,I have been stupid.
So young,to be suffering so much.Yet you still endured,and to do it for about 3 months was more than icredible.Special I call it.I didn't know why you even stayed on with a jerk like me but now I know.
You didn't love me.What you had for me was more than love.Something stronger than love.I have heard many stories of people being madly in love and then breaking up because of small thing.What I had done to you was to take a dagger and just slice through your heart,but you held on.

I'm sorry.Sorry for sufferings you had while with me.I swear that if I could turn back time,I'd like to undo all I've done so we can be taintless.Too late for that,but I promise you this--the future will be bright.I have woken up.
And thank you.Thank you for accepting me in the first place.It takes a lot of risk to be with someone like me,but you took it.God is Almighty,but I have my will with me all the time.And I'm gonna use all of it to at least make you happy.You have my word.

Sincerest,
Ishak Johari.

2009-07-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

Jika ditakdirkan aku pergi,
Dan meninggalkan panggung kehidupan ini.
Jika Tuhan mengatakan
,Kembalilah kepadaku,
Ketahuilah,
Engkau dihatiku,
Selamanya..

Dan jika masaku kian tamat,
Dan datangnya si dia,
Yang tidak pernah lambat,
Mengertilah,Jika diberi pilihan,
Aku ingin bersamamu,
Selamanya..

Dan tatkala seseorang datang,
Membisikkan kata-kata saksi padaku,
Aku ingin sekali engkau tahu,Aku sentiasa menyebutmu,
Selamanya..
Engkau di ingatanku,
Dan sentiasa berada di hatiku,
Selamanya..

-Ishak

Remember this?Well,I think it's my best malay composition so far,but now I need comments on it.Feel free to do it on the tagboard,but leave a name.So I know who you are.
Goodbye,World.

2009-07-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

You and me.
Different worlds.
With differences.
And I wondered,
About survival.
Or a possible betrayal.

We will learn,
Right now or sooner.
Never later.
We won't suffer.

Take my hand now,
Or sooner if you will.
But never later.
Never later.

That was a short one.Haha.Okay,go to rush,bed calling.

2009-07-19T13:20:00.000+08:00

I guess I'd better get this off my heart right now.

17 years have passed since that fateful night in which I was born.And through that 17 years,I've been taught one very important principle by my father.Loyalty.And let's look at where loyalty has got me now.

Firstly,to Tony,Roger and Kamal.2 years has passed since we made that pact to stay together as a band of musicians no matter what.One of us is now gone,yeah,but that doesn't mean the band is distrupted too.It may sound stupid for a 17-year-old to take over and control guys that are older than him,but I'm trying okay?Just show me the one thing I've pledged to all of you these 2 years.

To dear sir,when you walked into my class in 2005,I must tell you that I'm greatly overwhelmed.To me,you are a legend.But 4 years on,that loyalty I have shown to you is fading.I have always tried to impress you no matter what.True,some of my methods are sometimes stupid.But hey,I tried.But so far all I have gotten from you is a looking down and some name-calling and jibes.These names and jibes you throw at me sometimes do hurt,sir.

Mum,we may not agree on several things,but I have always loved you.Just try to go soft on me at times,please.I have a voice too.I even have a mind of my own.I'm not asking you to let me do whatever I want,just let me have a say and please,do consider some of my ideas.

To you,its been 4 months.And I have discovered one thing.I'm always the one to start all these conversations.I'm the one who does most of the 'How do you do?'.And yeah,I may make mistakes sometimes but I feel that I've had my fair share of hurting from you too.I'm just asking,when will this stop?When will you decide that maybe I can't stand any more of this mental torture you're giving me and at least tell me the value of Ishak Johari in your life?I know that you always said that you don't really know all this relationship stuff,but hey,don't tell me you 're not trying to learn as well?
I'm staying loyal to you.All I'm saying is that after 4 months,at least I get to see a teeny weeny bit of my reward.Please.I beg you.

Dad,I'm holding on to your principle.But I don't know for how long.

2009-07-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

Okay.I guess it's time for another update before I get people banging on my door screaming for more of me.And I know that sounds wrong but hey,I sound wrong all the time don't I?

Okay,Monday.
Arrived at school still bleary eyed due to lack of sleep.Had my temperature taken and it's 37.4.I'm hot,and I just so know that.Had Maths and it was the 'fun as usual' type of lesson.Seriously.Where did Mdm S go all these years?She's like the best teacher ever!(I'm only saying this because I think Mdm still owes me some of the vector theory.Hope to get soon though.)And I had to do speech for English! Haha.Super Yeay!

Tuesday.
Hmm...nothing happened here actually.Had a usual day.Oh,slept a lot in class.Haha.

Wednesday.
I went weak on my knees.Well,it's not because I saw some beautiful girl but I don't think I could handle my headache that moment.Well I could,but that would mean a nosebleed and 'bye-bye Ishak Johari'.Please do get my drift here.I don't want to tell the whole world I'm dying right?

Thursday.
Eventful but I'd rather keep the details to myself.

Friday.
I thought I might have another boring day but hey!The Vice-Principal invited us to dine with him!Yeap,out of 1248 students he only invited 11 to dine with him.I felt proud.And underdressed.I say this because my table was full of long-sleeved people.Oh,and I'm sure the Sec 3's who walked past by were jealous.Haha.

Today.
Splitting headache.

Tomorrow.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!
I miss Emma Watson!(okay,shouldn't have said it but wth)

Now go.

2009-07-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

If you are thinking of leaving me here,
If you are what you've always feared,
Well,let me say something before you go.
Something that you didn't always know.

That I dream of you every night,
And when it's dark you are my light.
That's why I can't ever let you go,
And I've always wanted to let you know

I love you,
For each moment of my life.
And it'll never stop even if I die.
And it pains me to see you walk away,
I wish there was a way to make you stay.

You are the soul,
The heart of me.
And when I'm trapped you set me free.
But even when I'm free and flying,
I'd always want to come back to you.

And don't worry about me,
I'm fine and here,I'll let you see.
So lighten your face and wipe your tears,
Because I'll never give up on you.

You pucked me up when I fall,
Carried me on or near and far.
That's why I can't live without you here,
And I've always wanted you to know,

I love you,
For every second of my life.
And it'll go on even when I die.
It hurts to see you disappear,
Tht's why begging you to stay right here.

You are the life,
The half of me,
And when I'm lost you helped me find my way,
But even if I ever find my way,
I'll try to find a new one that leads right back to you.

Because I love you.

2009-07-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

Okay,so let's update on the latest events that occurred.Yesterday,on Sunday,Madrasah Al-Irsyad had a carnival cum open house.It was a big event so 11 guys(including me) from Sec 5 Andalusia had to work on saturday night to make sure that everything was set up and in order.I swear,by six p.m. yesterday I was already bleary-eyed.Harith muka dah pucat lesu.We were that tired since Harith is usually a fresh-looking guy.Oh,and also from 9 a.m.-11 a.m. we had our haflah,which I attended.Uzair was being really cheeky that time,suggesting that I should get together with Hannah Rahmat.My response?"Never in a gazillion years.".Simple.Who wants to be with Hannah when I already have the most beautiful girl in my world,Miss A,by my side?

Oh,and I made a record.I managed not to sleep for 24 hours!(pats on shoulder).

Today.I had to sit for the GCE 'O' Level Malay Oral.It went quite well I think.I just can't pronounce one word.Kegagalan.But hey,so did the others.After the oral I headed straight for Junction 8 to sink my teeth into one of Colonel's chicken(KFC la..).After that,I went home.Simple and boring life again for me.

Awak,abang betul-betul minta maaf atas apa yang terjadi beberapa hari yg lepas ni.Yela..abang ni masih orang yang sedang memperbaiki diri...faham-faham jela...

Post ends.
Now scoot.

2009-07-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

As I'm updating now,this goes out especially to Juwina.

I guess I should thank you for saving my life that fateful night.Who knows,without your cajoling,I would have be even more stupider to just take more than what I should have and have taken,and killed myself instantly that night.You are only 15,yet you did a woman's job that night.I will forever be in debt to you,dear friend.Ask me for any favour in the future and I will comply,dear friend.Just don't ask me to give you a treat.I'm dried.

This other one goes to Daniel.

I guess I've gotten over you,brother.Nearly a month spent mourning and convincing myself that you weren't dead,and now I think I can accept the truth.You are in my life now only in spirit.God loves you more than us,dear friend.Oh,and the band will miss you.You are the life and soul of our band and yes,we will miss you.Dearly.

That's it then.
In loving memory,
Muhammed Daniel Bin Borhan.
15th March 1990-11th June 2009.
I love you,man.

2009-07-09T19:21:00.000+08:00

Sedang guruh berdentum di langit,
Aku duduk seketika,memikirkanmu
Aku bertuah,bersama orang sepertimu.
Namun aku akui,selama ini,
Aku gagal menggembirakanmu.

Masa datang,hinggap dan pergi.
Dan kini ku menangis seorang diri.
Hatimu tidak kujaga,perasaan mu selalu terguris,
Walau seribu kemaafan kupohon,
Aku tidak pasti jika kau dapat memaafkanku.

Engkau selalu berkata,
Peluang untukmu,sekali lagi,
Dan akan kusabar dengan sikapmu itu.
Namun setiap peluang kusiakan.
Sekarang,walau sejuta kemaafan kupohon,
Aku tidak pasti jika kau dapat memaafkanku.

Namun,akan tetap ku cuba nasibku,
Memohon kemaafanmu,tanpa sebarang malu.
Dengarlah rayuanku yang telah kua dengar seribu kali,
Maafkan diriku,sayangku.

_______________________________________________

That was written by me while in the auditorium today watching the haflah.I swear to dear God,it was boring.Anyway,as Juwina had already loyally tagged,I'm going to give the world a quick peek into my life so far.(I'm talking as though I'm some major superstar,but never mind.)

Okay,since last update,school re-opened and we had the full blown H1N1 excercise early in the morning,while I was still bleary-eyed.I got my semester overall results(like,finally) and was happy with my marks.Okay,I'm lying because there's certainly nothing to be happy about with Geography.And History.A1 to B4.Signs of a slacker.I think I have found that writer-feeling in me again,so now I'm writing whenever I see a pen and a paper.My book will take longer than expected to complete,but hey,Ishak Johari is set to be a best-selling author by May 2010 at least.

Oh yeah,I did the DPA,but I'm not really hoping for it.Kalau dapat,maka syukur alhamdulillah.Kalau tak,belajar!Belajar!Ok,forgive me for my malay just now.
This week will be a busy week.Wait,it has been a busy week.I already spent 3 days doing my history topic analysis and maths worksheets.

And speaking about maths,I have a problem that I think Mdm Surianah would love to hear.Everywhere I go now,I see mostly maths.And going through one day without doing maths now hurts the same way as going through one day without texting Miss A.

That's all for now.
Anonymous taggers,feel free to unload yourself.
I'm ready to take all your bullshit.

2009-07-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

Angel

As my surroundings blacken,
And fear creeps into my heart,
I yearn for your light,
To give brightness to this darkness,
For which I am afraid of.

I’d like you to spread your wings,
And cover me from Gaiea,
Or maybe take me away with you.
To someplace where finally can we be,
Together.
Forever.

Away from sounds please,
For they do not cheer me like they used to.
Away from the sights, I beg you.
For now it blinds me more than it should have.

Take me someplace,
Where I can here myself cry,
Or maybe to a place,
Where I’ll be happy till I die.

My dear sweet angel,
Take me with you as you fly,
And there’s no need to ask why.
You know the reason yourself,
Oh, I’m sure you know for yourself.

_________________________________________________________________

And yeah,that's my first poem in three weeks.
No updates I think.
O levels are near,so I should literally have a boring life.
Oh,and I've improved with my English marks.
Which is not really surprising in my books.
Verbal abuse still continuing.
I think they are waiting for me to die actually.
My friends,stay with me.
Miss A,I think I need you more than ever.Stay with me.
That's all.

Andalusians,you are not allowed to tag till further notice.
Wait,let's upgrade that to Irsyadians with the exception of Miss A.
Simple rule.

2009-06-29T21:33:00.000+08:00

The headaches are getting worse,but you know what?Next time when I feel like fainting,I swear I would fight to stay awake even if it makes my brain bleed like hell.Honestly,I don't mind dying.Why?

Because dying is way much better than fainting and then waking up to find people mocking or even condemning your fainting.And now I will point my fingers.To some students of Secondary 5 Andalusia,yes,I'm sick and tired by your lack of sensible humour.If you find mocking me about my sickness very funny,then go on,may this tortured person curse you to hell.

And now my index finger moves on to my own family.If anyone of you thinks that insulting me about my sickness will make you happy,go on.Your happiness matters,right?Mine doesn't.Idayu,Jannah and Ilyas Johari are all insanely pure and good.Ishak Johari just brings shame to the family by being part-mentally sick,so it's okay to treat him like some arse.

I miss them,the people who actually showed me some respect.You know who they are.Still no clue?Never mind.Find out for yourself.And to that someone,yes,this is an angry post.No,I'm not angry with you.And I hope you liked your Spongebob Squarepants I bought you.

If you think I need a counsellor,yeah.Maybe I do.I'm tortured.Home and School.

Oh yeah,and all anonymous taggers who don't recognize sarcasm when they see one are welcome to mock me.I don't care.

2009-06-25T18:37:00.000+08:00

What do you do when you are penniless?Why,sell something or look for work of course.
But when you sell something that involves your dignity,would you be able to withstand the guilt?

I did something humiliating to myself and to my friends just now.And to Daniel too.

But never mind that.Just a quick thought.Anyway,went out to meet someone just now.We talked business,Then ate @ Fig & Olive,his treat.And now I just got home.Someone called,and asked me for my help.She was the last person I expected to ask for my help anyway,so I was surprised.This involves her family,so yeah,I'm helping her do the dirty work while typing this thing.Got to go now.Assembling team,initiate!

2009-06-25T11:22:00.000+08:00

To you,

I am really sorry for my outburst yesterday.I really am.I guess I'm just stupid.You know,jealous all the time.It's been hard for me,facing my past yesterday.So yeah,I really do hope you forgive me.

Till here then.

Anonymous taggers still not welcome.

2009-06-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

Today,you have scarred me.

It's ok.Never mind.I mean,he's always better than me,right?Yeah,he's supposed to be the more experienced one right?So any help you want,you just have to ask him.I'm nobody.Hell,I doubt if you're even bothering about me.Why should you?

You have your own problems,right?So,it's about helping your friend.So be it.Go on.Work together with him more often because he is such an expert on these things.I know nothing.I've never helped a friend get back on track.I've never saved a friend from committing suicide.Nope,I'm just this old dumbell who keeps annoying you by asking how you are.I keep annoying you by caring for you.

All these times,I've always tried making you happy.And yeah,this time,I'll make you happy still.No revenging from me,okay?You're free to go and do whatever you want,if that makes you happy.

So are you happy?Yeah?Good.Don't mind about me.I'll just rot here,right here,caring for my own feelings.Oh,just a hint.If you really want to care for someone,care for their feelings first.I wish I could cut open my heart and show you how bloodied,battered and bruised my heart is.

Yes,I am hurt.

But I don't mind,as long as you're happy.
You are happy,right?

Anonymous taggers,f**k off.
I really don't need your crap.

2009-06-23T17:54:00.000+08:00

What I am going to say soon will ruffle some feathers.
What I am going to say soon will be in the wrong taste for some people.
What I am going to say soon will not guarantee that this war will be over.
It will maybe even going to escalate this war of words among my taggers.
Now be prepared.

To neutral readers,you might ask.Why the hell am I devoting one entire post to my taggers?
I'll tell you why.

Because the tag war that has been going on among my readers is getting ridiculous.Truth be told,I don't really mind you people insulting me,critisizing me on my on tagboard because,believe me,I've had 11 years worth of experience with my mum on name-calling.When you insult one of my friends,however,it's a different story altogether.

Let's be clear about Nur Juwina Bte Kanik,shall we?She is from Yuhua Secondary,she is 15 and most importantly,she is my friend.Not girlfriend,not even close to being chums.Just a friend.Someone who I laugh with,crap about with(remember McDelivery guy,Juwina?) and yeah,shares my relationship problems with.She is my Confidant.

So please,she is not a flirty type girl,okay?Only whores flirt,and she is not one.She will NEVER be one.In future times,please do be careful of what you call my friends.Doesn't mean someone is a natural-born joker,she is a flirt too as well.

And one other thing,what is it with the people going anonymous?There was a time when someone wanted to dish out advice at me.Nak jadi baik la tu katakan.Just one thing though,I never accept advice from anonymous people.Bodoh kan?Pernah tak kau terima hadiah,tapi tak tau datangnya dari siapa?Kau stress kan?Rasa macam nak buang hadiah tu,walaupun ianya hadiah.Stupid.To all anonymous taggers out there,I have some words for you.

Stupid.Cowards.IdiotsShameless.

I did say this wasn't going to be nice,right?

Oh,one more.Miss A,abang selalu maafkan awak.Siapa sanggup benci orang yang dia sayang?

2009-06-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

The last post was on thursday,so let me just breeze through what happened since then.

Friday.Woke up,and had the most searing pain on my let shoulder.Knew what it was straight away.Haykal had climbed on my shoulder to make a human tower with the other Andalusians and yeah he is realy that heavy for a small guy.Went to see the doctor,and thank God he said that it was just a minor strain.Note to self: Next time,let someone else climb on your shoulder.Texted Miss A,and she seemed to have some sort of a fever.

Saturday.Yesterday.Went to the market with mum.Met my old friend Syawal with his mum.Then went around the City,alone,before going to Bukit Merah for some Chicken Rice.Was heavenly,the food.The place?D-.Texted Miss A again,well she's better,but not by much.Flirted with her by SMS until maghrib(I did the flirting all alone,she just layan me.I don't think she ever flirts.Good girl),and then I prayed.Hung around in my room until 9+ when Miss A decides that,yeah,I deserve to hear her voice.Haha.And I got to know why she's not healing well.

Today.Woke up,and pain was easing up a bit.Did breakfast,and then did nothing until 4.45,when I actually prepared to go play my first football game in a year.Played the game at Commonwealth Sec,and hey,still got the moves,huh?Haha.

That's all I think.Oh,and to all taggers,be careful of Juwina.She's getting spicier(that was a compliment by the way,Nur).

Now die.

2009-06-18T21:09:00.000+08:00

Let's clear things up first.Juwina,i did NOT have a picture of you in my mind.I was thinking more of like Miss you-know-who.

Okay.Monday.Woke up a 5,subuh-ed,then went out of the house carrying my bachelor's briefcase with my family,reached Tanjong Pagar,bought our tickets,then waited until 7.35 for the train to arrive.Waited another 45 mins for the train to actually move.Note to dad: Next time,book tickets.Reached Stesen Keretapi Merlimau at about 10 then took a taxi(or teksi) to cousin's house.After that,changed,and went to Kota Tinggi Waterfalls.Went back to cousin's crib at around 6 p.m..Dinner,then played 'Who can tell the scariest ghost story with cousin.'.Lepas tu betul-betul kena kacau dengan hantu.Padan muka aku.

Tuesday.Family went shopping,leaving me,Ayu,Cousin Eja and Cousin Wan to explore the vast rubber plantation.Wee.

Wednesday.Had to go back early because a cousin wanted help with her project.Crusades' history.I'm an expert,so I helped.

Today.Picnic with the guys!But won't elaborate.I'm supposed to get pictures from Shah later on.After picnic,accompanied Abang Fad the Married Man to one of the most boring meeting ever.Touche.

That's all.

2009-06-14T21:29:00.000+08:00

I forgot to mention something.I'll be going to Malaysia from tomorrow till wednesday.So I'll miss Singapore,my-sister-who's-not-going(padan muka kau jana),and Miss A.Bye everybody.

Do you know that Singapore to Merlimau takes about 2 hours?Absurd.

I have a picture of you.
It's in my mind.
So everytime I miss you,
I'll close my eyes and fall to sleep.
Then I'll see your face.
And I'll look hard.
Because I don't ever want to forget you.
Not even when I wake up.

2009-06-14T18:22:00.000+08:00

I guess I'd better update,eh?

Okay.As the the last time I updated was on 6/6,let me start from there.

Sunday.I think I went to a wedding reception with my parents at Ritz-Carlton,yeah.The place was absolutely fantastic.The food?Well,I've never liked hotel food anyway so yeah.If you are asking whether the food was enough,my family actually had to go to another restaurant to fill their empty stomachs after the reception.Enough said.Hung out at VivoCity with my family,where I think I saw an old friend.

Monday.School.We had 4 hours of workshop in a very cold room by Mr Fammy.He was great.The room?So not great.Afterwards I didn't go home.Instead I just hung out at Junction 8 where I spent $3 on that KFC snack thing.

Tuesday.Same workshop,same cold room.But afterwards we had a football kickabout.Me,Fath,Haykal and Syaraf on one team and Arif,Luqy and Harris on another.Zuhur afterwards.Then all of them except arif and syaraf had to go so I was left alone eith those 2.We practiced our crosses.And Arif kept mocking Syaraf around.Freaking fishing hilarious.

Wednesday.Different workshop.Same cold room.Screw the school.But at least the football was good.and oh,you don't have to mock me around,nigger.You know what I mean.Moving on.

Thursday.Won't talk about it.

Friday.Had Math and Physics class.Solat Jumaat,then Basketball afterward.Mr Izzad played with us.And I had an idea finally of how short he is.No offense,sir.Just a joke.But hey,he played well.

Saturday.Hospital appointment.After that,went to the grave to visit someone.Alive.Nah,just kidding.

Sunday.that's today.Disn't do anything(but of course I'm lying.I'm updating this blog,am I not?)

Oh,and let me take this moment to say that I really love Miss A.

Now,shoo!

2009-06-07T08:43:00.000+08:00

Just for a moment,ignore the tags.And pay attention to me.

The world can be a menacing place at times.There you are,alone.And people keep wanting you to be on their feet 24 hours a day,7 days a week.And when you don't,they blackmail you.They threaten to ostracize you.They threaten to leave you as you are.And sometimes,although those are the people you usually call your friends,some of those people may e the ones you call family.

I've had a dream.In this dream,I was right there,on the cold hard floor.Prostituting myself at Death's door.I've had a dream.In this dream,I was holding a knife,yet no one was bleeding.Except me.I've had a dream.And in this dream,I'm happily tranferring Death to my body through a needle.

What nice dreams.I wish they could be true.Because this world has been a living nightmare for me.I remember that this someone once said that I have a kind soul.It's been 8 years.8 years since someone tells me who I am,deep down.They look at me,and they say,'Look,the weirdo'.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm tired of trying to please people and not getting appreciated for it.This goes out to my family,my friends and YOU.You know who you are.And should I decide to take myself,I have a message for Juwina.

You live in a world of reality.I lived in someplace much worser than that.It'll be no surprise if I go first.

2009-05-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

Alright,no one is tagging(not that I'm sad about it),but I'm still going to update because I know there's someone out there who's still loyally reading my blog.hehe.And I'm not talking about Juwina.Never Mind.

Ooookaaay.Let's start with Monday.Went out to explore Singapore so I went to Changi to try the Nasi Lemak,went to Pasir panjang to eat the satay,went to Haig Road to eat the Chicken Rice and Pasar Geylang to eat the Mee Kuah.All using my money.Okay,Mee Kuah was Daniel's treat.So in a way I was the K.F Seetoh (or Suhaimi Yusof,or whichever glutton that comes to mind) for the day,making my buddies laugh with my 'five-star comments'.

Tuesday.The most mother-loving boring day ever.Went to school,had khatmul qur'an and did virtually nothing for the rest of the day,save for a closed door session.Oh,let me just say something to Farah of Sec 3.Kesian,da sampai nak tuduh orang lain pula cari perhatian eh awak?Tolonglah,sedar diri tu sikit.Jangan nak perasan ade orang tengok-tengok.Kita budak-budak menengah 5 ni tak ingin pun dengan budak perempuan menengah 3.Muka sahaja lawa,adab dan perangai langsung tak bagus.And to all the ladies out there,I'm sorry,but it's the sad truth.You keep flouting the school rules and showing off more than you should,you keep looking at boys hoping for them to really stare back at you,it's like selling yourself really.And Naufal's right.Pelacur dekat Geylang tu sekurang-kurangnya dibayar,awak semua?I end my word here.Nanti cakap lebih-lebih,kontroversi pula.

Right.Wednesday.Went to MacRitchie resevoir with the Primary 2,3 and 4 kids.And my word.They really put the fun in the word,well,fun!They were running around(not out of control though) and laughing and sliding down the hill.Last-last,Ishak Johari yang dah tua ni pun ikut diorang main slide bukit.Mind you,I was in my uniform trousers.And Arif was in his full school uniform!Really,really hilarious.Oh,and while there we had to take a picture of a monkey,but haykal's picture is not allowed.Too bad.

Thursday.Had a morning NS-type drill with Old Man Esmadi(ok la..Mr Esmadi.But Old Man Esmadi sounds cute.haha.).He was 'torturing' us for like about what,half an hour?Then watched the Sec 3 boys play soccer.And Fire won and become champions!Best goal was from Fadzil,a screamer against Wind house.After that,did nothing except wait anxiously to get home.
Today.Did nothing except for KFC! Thanks dad!

Post ends.

Miss A,awak tahukan mana nak pergi?

2009-05-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

Hello World.Ishak Johari is posting again.

As I have no seriuos or mushy-mushy topics to talk about.Let's just scram through my week instead.After all,there must be at least someone out there who misses me talking monotonously about my week,instead of talking about some insensitive topic.

Okay.Monday.It's actually Miss A's birthday.And being a very good boy...okay maybe not boyfriend(Miss A,abang actually masih malu nak panggil kita berdua pasangan),but very very very special friend,I wished her.I did not celebrate it with her though,because I,unlike 70% males out there,still have my values within me.

Tuesday.Went out with my brothers to Peninsula Plaza(Danny mati-mati nak masuk Adult Shop.Haha.),Peninsula Shopping Centre,Suntec City and Pasir Panjang Food Centre,where the satay was freakin' awesome.Even thinking of it as I'm typing.So guys,round two?or my Andalusians maybe?or Salbiah.Arfina and Juwina maybe?haha.

Wednesday.Thought of skipping school,but no.Still went,and I got back my marks.English was as usual(A1,for those who don't know me and those who like hearing me boast).Malay was super awesome.Maths was okay too I guess.I actually passed!Yeay!So,everyone's invited to my kenduri kesyukuran on next Saturday,ok?Science,well,I failed.Geography.I passed but I still wasn't pleased with my marks.Arabic.I thought I would fail,but no.History?Never mind.Let's just say I passed.

Thursday.All marks procurred,so we weren't doing anything.I stole my sister's beanie bag from her class and spent one completely harith-abu-luqman-andteachers-free hour sleeping.Went home,and got into a war with someone.Excellent.Just what I needed.

Friday.Hmm...oh!Ustaz Ahmad Dahri jadi Imam solat Jumaat!Dah lama tak jumpa,jadi berbual dengan dia sekejap selepas sekolah.I used to follow his class at Assyakirin,but then I got busy.or in other words,lazy.

Saturday.Hospital appointment.And then I got some urgent call,and resolved the matter quickly.Reached home at about 9,just in time to eat,bathe and wait for Miss A's call for our little chit-chat session.Dah tak berjumpa,berbual dekat telefon pun okay pe...lepaskan rindu.

Today.Went to Botanical Garden to do some research,then accompanied my neighbour's boyfriend to buy his jeans and new shoes.Okay,he didn't buy jeans,he got skinnies,much to my protest.Then movie appointment got cancelled,so I slugged it out in here.

Post ends.

Hey,Harith's got an exciting blog.Scoot over to him.

2009-05-18T16:31:00.000+08:00

This short post goes out specially for someone.

To Miss A,whose identity is still unknown to some of my readers,and the girl I am madly in love with,Happy 14th Birthday.I know some of my messages to you(in fact,most) are in malay,but bear with me this moment because what I am going to say comes from the heart.

Truth be told,we only knew each other for about only 5 months.I still say what I say to you 5 months ago.I love you,and nothing will ever make me give this up,give you up.You are special,there's no denying it.It's just that special people sometimes do not realise how special they are.

I'll tell you why you are special.All my life,I have never had someone giving me a chance.They look at me,and judgement's passed immediately.But you did.You did not say 'no',you said 'see first' which for me is more than enough to inspire me to keep on trying to win your heart.And when I do make a mistake,you're never afraid to show your contempt.I also like the way you giggle sometimes.And couple with that smile of yours and those twinkling eyes,you're just beautiful.Simply beautiful.These little things entrap me,captivate me through all the 5(maybe more) months I've known you.

I guess that's all I have to say to you.Happy Birthday again.

Post ends.

oh,and Happy Birthday to Aida Adriana too.I've got nothing to say to you though.Sorry.

2009-05-18T16:19:00.000+08:00

Hello,I've decided to get a bit emotional today so I'll be posting pictures of the best team the world has ever seen,Manchester United.
They also happen to be my favourite team so yeah,enjoy.

Carlos Tevez with Yaya Toure.

Alex Ferguson,the world's most decorated manager

Roy Keane handling the world's best footballer

at that time,Romario.(1994)

Bryan Robson tackling Lou Macari,

ex-United player.

2009-05-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

Posting again,because I'm loyally tagged by Juwina(and harith,and faatinah).So,for today I have a question in mind for my readers and yeah,if any senior-ranking official from Irsyad or any other employee from MUIS sees this,I'll be goddamned(means I'll be doomed.).

So lets start.A year or two ago three madrasahs,Al-Irsyad,Al-Junied and Al-Arabiah signed a pact to work together to improve the standard of madrasah education.This was later called the Joint Madrasah System(JMS for short).In this system,Al-Irsyad will handle the solely the education of 7-12 year olds.Al-Junied will handle the ukhrawi secondary education while Al-Arabiah will handle the academics.A fine system,yes.I still have a question though-in fact,I have many questions.

First,how do you execute the plan?This in itself brings about at least two other sub-questions.How do you transform Irsyad into a primary school?What?Just ship over the remaining students?How?And the question everyone's asking,when?Oh,I've got another one.How in the world would Irsyad be able to cater to six levels of six classes when it has only a grand total of 32 classes?(6 x 6 = 36)

And that's just some of the questions.Coming from me personally,it's time we students know what's happening.You invest hundreds or maybe thousands into telling the public your grand plans.And the public actually ask us these questions when we students are outside.And what do we answer?"We don't know"?I showed my point.I beg you,person-responsible,we have a right to know.Let us.

Okay.It's been a bad week so I won't let you know what happened to me.Okay,maybe just one thing.I can control the headache now so well that I don't have to cringe around when it gets to it's limit.That's about the happy news.Okay.To any fire house male members reading this,please do come to training on tuesday at Woodlands stadium @ 3 and Yio Chu Kang stadium after school.I'm not the house captain yes,but I'm concerned.I don't want any fainting or,God-forbid,dying while on the track.We all want to keep fit and yeah,let's win that Sports House Cup.It's the one thing I'm longing for other than Miss A(okay,so I've got Miss A so the Cup is my only longing before leaving school.)

So yeah,there you have it.
Post ends.

I will post tomorrow to wish that special someone.

Oh,Miss A,abang betul2 minta maaf psl minggu ni.Abang tak ada niat nak lukakan awak.

2009-05-13T16:50:00.000+08:00

I feel bad because Juwina has been tagging as though I'm posting every week when I'm doing quite the contrary.So this is a post just to make up the numbers.

Exam's over,well,at least that's what I think.I'm going to solat hajat tonight and pray that Mdm B decides that some simple history learning will do,instead of a mock exam next Friday.Orang baruuu nak relax.Last Monday was Physical Geography and Combined Science Paper 1.It went quite well.Exam papers go quite well when you revise every night,that's what I found this year(Ini lah org bodoh.Orang lain dah find out sejak berzaman lagi.).

Tuesday's Insya and Maths Paper 1 was quite easy.I swear to God that was the most easiest maths paper I've ever done.I just hope that the O level paper would be something like that.Wednesday's Malay Paper 3 and Human Geography was easy,because Malay Paper 3 only requires logic and some listening while I had dedicated half this half-year to revising Human Geography.

Thursday's Malay Paper 2 and Physics Paper 2 was hard and easy.Malay Paper 2 was hard because I don't have much malay left in me.Physics Paper 2 was easy because I've been loving Mdm S all this half-year (that sounds wrong,I know).Friday's Maths Paper 2,well,it was easy.But I forgot to do 1 question which was worth 12 marks so I'm a goner.

This Monday's Paper 3 for Combined Science was a disaster because I do not have any talents in Chemistry whatsoever.Yesterday's English Paper 2 was easy,but as I'm trying not to be so arrogant and snobbish,I won't comment on how easy the paper really was.Today's Arabic Paper 2,well,let's not talk about it.

This particular paragraph goes out to someone.If you are listening,please take it back,the pain you've given me.I do not care what you do exactly with my life.Damage the whole of my left brain for all I care.Just please,don't take Jamila Abdullah away from me.We may fight often and we may have a lot of differences,but I hope you've seen how much I cared for her at times.She is my mother,and I am her first son,so this relationship is really quite special.I love her in my own way.I mean,just because I don't agree with her points of view means I hate her right?Please,I know she'll have to go sooner or later,just don't let it be now.

This other short paragraph goes out to another someone.2 months,and last Monday was by far the hardest you've hurt me.I know you're young and stuff,but for once,please appreciate me being in your life ok?Don't make me out as someone who really is disturbing you.You're the one that texted me,so I thought it was all clear.Just don't do it again.I hate having to bear with the thought that I am someone who disturbs you,and it makes me feel guilty.I hate guilt.And I hate feeling guilty about you.I love you.

Post ends.

Tag more,Juwina.And I might just come up with another post.

2009-05-04T16:49:00.000+08:00

Hello world.For those of you who missed my posts,you might be well entertained by the tag battle at my tagboard which ended about last week.And,in accordance to answering Daniel,NO.THIS IS NOT AN ATTENTION SEEKING GIMMICK.I just made one post,and they were the ones who responded.Bagi siapa yang makan cili,maka dia terasalah pedasnya.And for those who did stood up for me or at least didn't splurt out vulgarities on my tagboard,thank you.

Now for those of you who really,really missed my post,I will tell you what has been going on these past few days(or weeks).On Monday,20th April 2009,I was sent to the hospital for collapsing into unconciousness in front of my lift.And no,I wasn't prononced dead upon arrival.The doctors first diagnosised me with epilepsy,a very serious medical condition that would cause me to have fits for the rest of my life.

Let me tell you how I felt then.I am a man with strong attributes to athleticism,meaning that I am athletic.To be diagnosised with this condition would mean that I would never,ever again do what I love most,and that is running.I was a broken man.In that quiet ward that night,only two sounds can be heard.The sound of nurse-bells going off,and the soung of my sobbing.Yes,dear readers,I was crying throuhout my first night at the hospital.And why shouldn't I?I was becoming a sickly boy just overnight.

By the second day I was in hospital,doctors contemplated that I might not have epilepsy,but they were still worried about my condition.So I have to undergo an EEG scan to determine exactly my diagnosis.We were unlucky,because by the end of the day,the team of 5 neurological doctors were unable to confirm my illness.I was to undergo a second scan,the Magnetic Reasoning Imaging (MRI) scan.By this time,I was nervous beyond imagination.

On the morning of the third day I simply could not eat anything out of nervousness.At exactly noon,I underwent that scan.And the results took forever to be produced,I swear!But by the end of the day,I knew what my illness was.Well,it's not exactly an illness,but I have a weak left brain.

So there you go.A weak left brain.It means that every single morning when I wake up,I will be greeted by a sharp pain at my left temple.As the days go by,my accurancy will fall,my left eyesight may fail and I may even become speech impaired.

Untuk Miss A,abang harap keadaan abang ini tak akan pernah mengubah apa-apa dalam perhubungan kita berdua.Abang tidak meminta simpati dari awak,abang cuma harap yang awak dapat menerima abang,itu sahaja.Percayalah,keadaan abang memang dah berubah.Tetapi niat abang tak akan pernah berubah.Abang masih berharap bahawa abang akan menjadi orang yang lebih baik untuk awak,supaya persahabatan kita ini akan menjadi sesuatu yang lebih bermakna.

To my friends that I see on Saturdays,I am deeply sorry.It is not my intention not to see you guys again,but now my health and mindset has become something so important to me.This is my future.For your knowledge,I am now undergoing rehabilation and training at NUH,so that I may learn to accept who I am.This will end on October 24th,and I will be back on November 14th,I promise.No,I swear.

To the world,this is a lesson.An eye-opener.Look at me now.A former short tempered person who cannot even feel anger anymore without risking getting stabs of pain in his head.A former debator who might never debate again because literally,he has become mentally crippled,if not slightly.

And finally,let me take this opputurnity to vindicate my friend Salbiah.I have nothing going on with her.But I must stress the fact that I find her such an intelligent and shrewd woman.She does not think far like I do,but she does think older than her age suggest (she is 16 this year).Of my latest tag-reply to insan,I had expected her to shrewdly guess who insan is.For this occasion thoughnI was disappointed.And let me tell you once again,I am not with her.I am happily with Miss A now.But any guy who does get Salbiah in the future,let me say this,"You're one lucky bastard,you.".

Post ends.

2009-04-23T21:57:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Juwina.So here goes.

1. How good, or how long can you control your temper?
-Not really that good.And then I'll stay for five minutes and then I will have migrane and THEN I'll black out.

2. How do you want your love life to be?
-Peaceful and full of love(heck,who doesn't?)

3. What do you do when you get mad?
-I used to break down doors,but now I'll just black out.

4. What is your favorite color?
-Red,pink,green,white (in other words,colours that Miss A likes).Okay I used not to like pink but then....

5. What do you tend to do once you reach home?
-Eat.Sometimes with my bag still on.

6. Do you go home straight right after school?
-Nope

7. Do you trust people easily?
-Nope

8. Do you appreciate your friends?
-If only their names happen to be Juwina,Salbiah,Fuad,Khairul,Daniel and Aida.

9. Do you care if your friends are jealous that you actually when with other friends?
-Hell no.That's their problem.I'm protected under Human Rights Act baby!

10. Do you like people who thinks everything is their's?
-hmm.depends.

11. Do you like irritating kiddos?
-If I say no,that would mean I hate myself.So yeah.

12. Do you like if your bf/gf talks about a person of a different gender?
-No! I get jealous easily.Haha.

13. What is the first thing you do once you wake up for school?
-Sneeze.

14. How long does it takes for you to get ready for school?
-One hour.Breakfast and Channel Newsasia-watching included.

15. Do you like your phone?
-Yep.Because I bought it meself.

16. What had you just finish doing?
-Reading a highly important book entitled 'Macmillan English Dictionary'.Seriously.No kidding.

Tagged: Everyone on my link except for Juwina because she's the one that tagged me in the first place.

Im too not in the mood to refute yet.So maybe later.

Bye world.

Miss A,abang rindu sangat dengan awak.

2009-04-17T21:13:00.000+08:00

If you walk away right now,
You know there will be no end.
They are your shadows,
No matter where,
So stay where you are.

You may choose to run,
Wherever you want to,
Whenever you can.
But you know,
Old Charlie will always get you,
No matter where you are,
No matter when.

So stay where you are,
And find a proper way out.
Only then will you be free,
As free as you can be.
Run no more, sonny,
Be afraid no more.
Don’t get all clammy and wimpy,
‘Cause it’ll sting you till you’re sore.

So run no more, sonny.
Stay where you are.

-Ishak

___________________________________________________

Kadang,aku bertanya juga,
Benarkah dia untuk diriku?
Dan,rakanku berbisik,
Siapa dia berbandingmu?

Dia,hanyalah permpuan biasa,
Mereka berbisik lagi,
Engkau tidak layak dengannya,
Beribu wanita,pilihlah sahaja,
Asal bukan dia.

Dan kini,aku bertanya lagi,
Benarkah dia untukku?
Namun,kini hatiku yang berbisik,
Siapakah aku berbandingnya?

Dia,hampir sempurna,
Dan kesilapannya,jarang sekali.
Dan aku,insan hina,
Dibasahi dosa,
Layakkah aku untuknya?

Matanya,mempamerkan kejelitaan,
Dan untukku,ia tiada bandingan.
Raut wajahnya,membuatku tergamam,
Bagaikan bulan yang mencahayai malam.

Dia bukannya perempuan biasa,
Hatiku berbisik lagi.
Kerana dia,
Teristimewa.

-Ishak

____________________________________________________________________

Well,the first one was written somewhere in mi-febraury,when I'm still not paying attention in class. The second one was when I was being emo somewhere in end-march. I was at home,so no need to pay attention to anything.

Hello world. My name is Ishak Johari and I'm ready to tell you about my life this week. So sit back, relax and enjoy my show.Okay.

Monday was a bit boring.Had to adjust to the new timetable so I had to force myself to eat rice so I won't suffer for the next 7 continuous periods (which amounts to 3 and 1/2 hours),even though I don't usually eat rice in the morning.hee. Suffered during english because my head decided that its the right time to torture me with its pain. Cooled down during Lughah, and I spent the last one hour of a torturous 3.5 translating arabic texts. Really paid attention during Geography.Slacked during Usul Fiqh. Went home and slept. No energy to even eat.

My head decided to be funny with me again on Tuesday. And on the way to school,I was surrounded by girls from different madrasahs. Al-Sagoff,2 girls. Wak Tanjong. 4 girls. Al-Junied, 3 girls. Al-Ma'arif, 2 girls. And I was trying very hard not to look at any of them and ended up looking straight at a smiling singh.God, I swear, he was smiling like a lecher! Haha! And school was great. English was great. I failed my Math mock exam paper 2 but passed overall so it wa great. Malay was kind of great. And going home was super great because I get to share the same bus with Miss A! hee. gatal. Itu pun happy.

Wednesday.Most boring day.But whitespace was great.Ustaz Zahid really knows how to capture his audience.

Thursday.Had the same Tuesday problem on the MRT. This time I looked straight at a nose-digging Chinaman.Bingo.Maths was great.I got highest in class for Maths Mock Exam paper 1 and Maths class test 2.Was really happy about it.I'm bound to fail English though,because I didn't answer 2 questions.My head was toying with me again at that time,so I can't think.

Today.Maths was great because Mdm S gave lots of exercises.Science was great because Mr Najib and Mr Muneer was more enthusiastic than usual,and that's saying something considering that they are always enthusiastic.Went to Hasanah.hung out with Abg Fad.Then went home.And then I updated this blog because I know you people miss me.

Post Ends.

2009-04-12T17:39:00.000+08:00

"...i saw Ishak lying unconsciously on the ground. I thought he was joking. Well, Ishak Johari, the joker...", "...he wasn't!! I don't know what to do and the rest came to crowd. Since no one is able to help..", "...i was really hoping that Ishak would wake up cause i don't want that to be his last minute in this world!".

The following phrases just shows that I have friends. Not the type of friends who laugh and make fun of me when I faint, but friends who worry for me at the first moment I showed the first sign of being ill. Not friends who took 5 or so minutes to recognize that I wasn't faking,but friends who can see some inkling of truth in me. I still have friends (okay fine,in this case a girlfriend) who call me up at near 10 at night just for the sake of asking if I'm well. I still have them,no matter how weird they are (yes,I still find you weird at times,Juwina).

This particular post goes out to Juwina, Muhammad Mustafa, Arfina, Salbiah, Sayyidah, Kak Farhana, Kak Sharfina and Aida Adriana.You people have been great friends.

Who needs 80 fakers when you have 8 originals?

2009-04-11T19:50:00.000+08:00

Jika ditakdirkan aku pergi,
Dan meninggalkan panggung kehidupan ini.
Jika Tuhan mengatakan,
Kembalilah kepadaku,
Ketahuilah,
Engkau dihatiku,
Selamanya..

Dan jika masaku kian tamat,
Dan datangnya si dia,
Yang tidak pernah lambat,
Mengertilah,
Jika diberi pilihan,
Aku ingin bersamamu,
Selamanya..

Dan tatkala seseorang datang,
Membisikkan kata-kata saksi padaku,
Aku ingin sekali engkau tahu,
Aku sentiasa menyebutmu,
Selamanya..

Engkau di ingatanku,
Dan sentiasa berada di hatiku,
Selamanya..

-Ishak

___________________________________________________________________

Salbiah thinks the poem is scary.Juwina thinks it's weird.Arfina thinks it's brilliant.And I agree with Arfina.Simply because it's my poem and I have whatever right with it.

Monday was superb.Seriously.Woke up,showered and went straight for school.On the train I met Miss A.S. for the first time in 2 weeks.She hasn't changed,really.Either that or I didn't notice anything special about her.Anymore.Okay.Reached scool,pretended that I was reading mathurat when in reality I was happily chatting with Fathullah.Did tilawah,and my team has improved with their reading beyond all means!So marha2 to Munir Bin Osman,Nabil Bin Rahmat,Syafiq Bin Abdul Razak and Syazwan Ariffudin.English was okay2,though I didn't really pay attention.Maths.Superb.Geography.Hmm...got back my marks and it wasn't so good.But wth.At least I passed.Lughah.Good.Malay.Only 1 period so ther's nothing to talk about really.Usul Fiqh.Hmm...did the worksheet that Ust Mahzan gave,and then I slacked.

Tuesday was okay2.English was good.I paid attention.Maths?Superb la sey.Lughah.Good.Malay.Hmm...quite good.Kalau kena marah apa yang bagus.Geography.Well,paid attention for only 45 mins.The last 15,I slacked.

Wednesday.Had a mini debate which I lost controversially.Reminder:Insulting is NOT part of a proper decorum which was clearly written on the board.But never mind.Had chemistry test which I'm confident of getting a B4 on.Then stayed back to finish my homework.Then I went home.

Thursday.Last day for the week.So my maths teacher piled on the homework for us.English was okay.So was malay.So was Geography.So was Lughah(okay,that's a damned lie).

Friday.did nothing.

Saturday.woke up at 4,so I did my thing again.Prepared breakfast for Idayu.Then went to mosque.Something happened.won't give details though.

Sunday...

Wait,isn't today Saturday?

Ishak is getting old.And he's dying.Stay by my side,Juwina,Salbiah and Arfina.

Post ends.

2009-04-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

I think I will update about this week tomorrow.For now,though,lets enjoy ourselves by looking at some pictures.Let's not waste time I guess?

Okay.First things first.The Bahas competition was between Secondary 5 Andalusia and Secondary 5 Bukhara.Leading the line for Andalusians are Naufal Rahman,Muhd A'lim Bin Omar,Muhd 'Arif Bin Khairul Tan and me,Ishak Johari.Naufal,'Arif and me were experienced debators,with 'Arif coming out as the best Debator in last year's Pertandingan Bahas Bahasa Arab antara sekolah-sekolah ASEAN.

Representing Bukahrawks(as Bukhara is known) are Nurnabilah Abdul Moen,Sakinah Binte Elyas,Khadijah Useri and Hanisah 'Aliah.Overall there were only one newcomer from each team,Alim and Khadijah.Both performed better than expected.I think.

Okay,pictures now.

Bukhara:(from left) Khadijah,Nabilah,Hanisah and Sakinah
Timekeeper(Syafiqah) and Pengerusi(Maryam).

Andalusians:(from left) 'Arif,Ishak,A'lim and Naufal

A Spectators' view.The one standing is me in action

Nabilah in action.I'm always scared of her actually.

Hanisah 'Aliah debating.She was quite good,though

I didn't know why she stopped abruptly.

Ishak Johari in action.He's very good.
And handsome I might add.

It was quite a fierce debate really.Both teams gave nearly their all.But like every match or competition,there has to be a winner and a loser.It is just our(Andalusia) luck that we won.Nevertheless,kudos to all the debators.May we meet again if there is ever a next time.

And this is Ishak Johari with his teacher/mentor.

Post ends.
Now go away and leave me alone.

2009-04-06T21:13:00.000+08:00

Okay,so I know I said I'm going to update on saturday.but apparently I was so busy with homework that I didn't have the time.Ishak Johari.Doing homework.You better start believing it.

Okay.Upadates.Last Monday was a bit stressful because I still have bahas preparation to do.Couldn't think straight.Well, I did think straight for maths,seeing that it is now my new favourite subject.But after that it was all hoo-haa for me.Then I went home and there was no food,seeing that my mum now is sick.So I went out and poisoned myself because I have a sister who is even too lazy to cook rice.oh,when I say poison myself I didn't mean the real thing.I meant instant noodles.

Tuesday.Maths was fun.English super-fun and malay was ultra-fun.okay,that malay part is a lie.But its not because mr.z is a bad teacher.It's because we did some really serious stuff.Serious is not Fun is it?Stayed back real late to finish my bahas preparation with 'arif,khairul,'alim and nau-ee.went and reached home just in time for maghrib.

Wednesday.The big day.English was fun.Physics was the greatest fun ever.I think I overreacted with my bidas for bahas.But I think my hujah went okay.No one,not even my team came as near fluent as me.so although cikgu didn't announce the pembahas terbaik,I think we all know who's the best,right guys? ;D

Thursday.Bahas over,so can relax a bit.day ws a breeze right up until 4,when i had my history.have to do 2 history essays and 1 english exposition.homework piling up for the weekend.I'm stressed.

Friday.was really a breeze.went home and started on my weekend homework.6 pm-12 am,with breaks in between for prayers.was seeing stars by the time i finished my homework.

Saturday.woke up at 4.did my secret thing.ate breakfast with idayu.then went out for masjid.once there abg fad told me to set the laptop up,which I did obediently.Time-management workshop was quite okay,except for the 30-odd minutes when we talked about s**.I dont think I'm ready to talk about it la.went home.texted Miss A.asked permission if I could call her.she said no.she would call me at 9 instead.and when she called we talked about random things.I wanted to say 'I love you' at the end of the convo,but I'm afraid she'll be embarassed.Then went to sleep without reading the text message zaimah sent me.

Sunday.woke up at 6.didn't get to do my secret thing.so I did subuh.ate breakfast then lazed around until 10.got rweady and then I went to masjid.didn't behave myself at the meeting.wee.I know Miss A wasn't impressed,but wth.went home to put my bags.then went out again with sa'diah and her boyfriend,to take care of them.both are 15 by the way.jadi aku lah abg long untuk hari itu.

Post ends.

Awak,da lama eh abang tak post puisi untuk awak?
Biasa la...sibuk.tapi abang janji abang post kalau abang tak busy dan ada idea.
;D

2009-04-02T21:46:00.000+08:00

"....From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic an iron curtain has descended across the Continent. Behind that line lie all the capitals of the ancient states of Central and Eastern Europe. Warsaw, Berlin, Prague, Vienna, Budapest, Belgrade, Bucharest and Sofia, all these famous cities and the populations around them lie in what I must call the Soviet sphere, and all are subject in one form or another, not only to Soviet influence but to a very high and, in some cases, increasing measure of control from Moscow. Athens alone -- Greece with its immortal glories -- is free to decide its future at an election under British, American and French observation. The Russian-dominated Polish Government has been encouraged to make enormous and wrongful inroads upon Germany, and mass expulsions of millions of Germans on a scale grievous and undreamed-of are now taking place. The Communist parties, which were very small in all these Eastern States of Europe, have been raised to pre-eminence and power far beyond their numbers and are seeking everywhere to obtain totalitarian control. Police governments are prevailing in nearly every case, and so far, except in Czechoslovakia, there is no true democracy. . ."

-Winston Churchill

This speech was made in 1946 at Fulton,Missourri,United States of America.Such words from a great man.His Nobel Prize in 1953 for Literature was fully deserved.Question is,will there be another Winston Churchill?

Ladies and Gentlemen,there will be.It has always been my dream to be that man.A leader who has nothing to offer for his country except "....blood,toil and tears." .And this is not just any childish dream.I will be him.

Or die trying.

Updates on Saturday.

Post ends.

2009-03-29T18:07:00.000+08:00

Hello again.Maybe this post will be short,maybe it'll be long.So yeah.

To be honest,yesterday was the near worst day of my life.I feel like a jerk towards Miss A.So I'll probably call her tonight and make up.IF I do get to call her.Went to school yesterday,like,finally.Helped around a bit with AVA.Crapped around a lot with Sufian and some Primary 5 boys whose names I don't remember.After that I went to Hasanah,where my nightmares unfolded.Won't give details though.I will just say that after the incident,Miss A's messages to me were short and cold.Lost my mood,so I hung out at IMM.Met a former Irsyadian who I recognise only by face.Bumped into Miss A.S.Said hello to Shanti again.And crapped myself up.After that I went to Al-mukminin to pray and I saw some of their youths.I think.Is Kak Asyura an Al-Mukminin youth?After that I went home.Showered,prayed,taught Al-Qur'an to my two youngest siblings,Prayed again,and waited for someone to call.But apparently there was some mis-understanding so she didn't call.Bed.

Today.Went to Granpa's house and cried on his shoulder.Ishak.Cry.Wow.I am human huh?After that went to IMM againg,hung out and went home.

I guess it's a short post then.

2009-03-27T21:18:00.000+08:00

I want somebody to share,
The rest of my life.
Share my innermost details.
Someone who'll stand by my side.
And give me support,
And in return,
She'll get my support.
She will listen to me,
When I want to speak,
About the world we live in,
And life in general,
Though my views may be wrong,
And even perverted,
She'll hear me out,
And won't be easily converted,
To my way of thinking.
In fact she'll often disagree,
But at the end of it all,
She will understand me.

I want somebody,
Who I can care for passionately.
With every thought,
And with every breath.
I want somebody to think about,
When I go to sleep,
And when I wake up everyday.
Though things like this make me sick,
In a case like this,
I'll get away with it.

Hello world,Ishak Johari is emo again.Haha..Okay,weekly update.
School this week has been a bit less stressful,because well,it's only the start of the new term.
Monday.Maths.Did my paper 2 and I completed all the questions which do not require sketching and plotting of graphs,because I didn't bring my french curve/curve ruler(I make it sound like I have these things.In actual fact,I don't.).Didn't remember doing anything significant after that,even though I've racked my brains.Dah Tua.

Tuesday.Borrowed a french curve from someone I didn't even know.And then I completed all remaining questions in my maths mock paper 2.Learned the usual oral exam stuff during english.They've drilled it in me for about 6 years,I think I will remember all the procedures even when I turn 71.Take a bow,english teachers of Irsyad.Okay.Spent 1 hrs and 10 mins during malay working on our projects.spent the last 20 mins of malay crapping with Abu.We worked hard,so we can crap hard.

Wednesday.Came to scool all sickly and stuff,so I didn't pay attention during english.sorry Mdm B,but I really had to take a rest.My head was near exploding.Felt better during combined chem,so I paid attention.Went to NEWater facility,and we actually had to share a tour with Thai students.I was flirting around with the Thai girls.HAHA.just kidding tau awak.

Yesterday.did nothing of use.

Today.Helped Mdm S decorate the science lab.That was it I think.

Post ends here.

Go view other blogs now.

2009-03-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

Okay,another post I guess.Yesterday was quite not really over-the-top.I had to take charge of the youth activity with Salbiah and we totally freaked out.We were supposed to go to the library with Abg Fad and the rest of the HasanahYouths to do a research project cum competition.Quite simple really.You do a research on the topic you're given,write an essay in under two hours,and hand it in.Someone will grade your group's work,and the team with the highest score wins.Simple task.Only that abg fad can't make it at the last minute.But overall it was quite okay.Wasn't a good show,but then it wasn't a disastorous one either.

Today.Woke up at 4.00,lazed around for a while before doing my subuh.Then I did breakfast for the whole family.Anak Mithali la katakan.Then I went for jogging around my residential area.Got home,ate with family and prepared to go to Singapore Flyer.On the MRT I bumped into one of my old friends,and I ignored my family because I talked to him.Reached there,and I backed out because I'm afraid of heights.Just remembered.So my father saved $19.50(I think)

Went for lunch at Pasir Panjang.Then went to granpa's house.Hung out till 8 then headed for home.

This is such a 'long' post.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

-Boys Like Girls.

Awak,ini je ah abang dapat jumpa.Boleh la eh?
Sorry.

2009-03-20T17:15:00.000+08:00

In wake of the recent economic crisis,I have something to share with my readers.

I went to the library yesterday to discuss my bahas with my team,but knowing me,I always arrive early.In Fact,earlier than expected.So I went around reading random books until I found this one book which I find intresting.I have forgotten the title,yes,but I am sure it is about wealth-sharing.

For years,two different ideologies about wealth sharing has dominated our world.The first one,a product of America,is Capitalism.The capitalist's theory of wealth-sharing revolves around one saying,to simplify things.A Man for Himself.Let me explain how this works.

Quite simple really.Ben works harder than John,so Ben earns more than John.And Ben does not really need to share anything with John because the profit is the product of his labour.On the rough,this really seems quite fair,but Capitalism has its cons.Like I said,in Capitalism,he who works more earns more,but there are some Capitalists who is focused only on the earning part.So they go for the big profits.They invest and gamble.When their gamble foils,they simply raise the prices of their products.

Now let's go on to ideology No. 2.Communism.About more than a century ago a philosopher by the name of Karl Marx invented this theory that goes around only one saying.All Men Are Equal.This theory is adopted by the Russians during 1919-1991,and later China (1949-present).The theory is simple.No matter how hard Ben or John works,they will gather their profits together and then divide it equally.The problem with Communism is that while it is fair during wealth sharing,Ben might feel very lazy one day and just wait until his profits are gathered with John's and divided.This will be unfair to John,as he might have worked ten times harder than Ben.

However,recently,a new religion-related ideology about wealth-sharing has emerged.I call this ideology Islamism.An Islamist's theory of ideology is that we have to follow the Muslim Law in businessess.This Law,in a large extent,encourages competitiveness among people.It is nearly the same as Communism when it comes to wealth sharing.It is just that every year,the rich must always give out zakat.Zakat,in a way,is similar to taxes.The only difference is that taxes are used generally for a country's need.Zakat,however,is generally used for the poor.It is only when the country is in real need might the zakat be used.Speaking as a muslim,I see no flaw in this system yet.Feel free to inform me if you think different.

So,all in all,which one will you prefer?I leave it to you to decide.I'm just here to provide details.Wassalam.

___________________________________________________________________

Hello,world.My name is Ishak Johari and I'm a political analyst and a politician myself.YEAH RIGHT.

Okay,updates.Today has been good.Woke up at 3:00 this morning and again did something that you people should not know about.Made breakfast and ate while watching 'I am Legend'.I think I have a man-crush on Will Smith.haha.Went out for jogging at 8.30 before I went to the market for my mum.Baiknya anak mak.Friday prayers today,and while waiting for the azan,this Indonesian cleric came up to me and we talked religion.He challenged me to read the first two pages of Surah Yasin.Easy.I then told him that I'm from a madrasah and he seemed surprised that Singapore has a full-time madrasah.After prayers I met A'lim and A'rif and we went to the Al-mukminin library to discuss(what else?) bahas.After that I went to Jurong Point to hang out.Alone.heh.But I promised myself that I will never go out with Miss A.Maksiat tu namanya.After that I went home and ate instant noodles as my mum's out.And now I'm posting.

Post ends.

If we do not understand the world,how can we expect it to understand us?

2009-03-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

Alright,let's settle things up.Juwina,I did seriously not dream about Arfina.Otak kotor la lu!haha.And awak,kalau awak nak baca blog ni abang tak kisah....memang sesetengah daripada post abang memang untuk awak.hee.What else do I need to clarify?Oh,just so you know,my last post wasn't for Miss A,but for Miss A.S.,my very old friend.So,old friend,hope you are well and recuperating.

Right.Now for post.Today was great.Miss A admitted she was angry yesterday and therefore did not reply my messages.So,abang minta maaf eh awak.Janji tak buat lagi. ;D .Went to the library as early as 9 a.m. to read up on some books.Then I went to a nearby coffe shop to have my lunch,then I went to Al-mukminin for my prayers.Then I went back to the library.Met khairul,and we went up to level four and slacked for 10 mins until A'lim came.Then we had bahas discussions.Naufal arrived,and I delegated Khairul to help him with the opening round.

Finally freed my self from the library around 4.Went to my granfather's house,where I did my asar and joked around with him.Around 5 the rest of the family arrived.We had Fried(and spicy) mee,courtesy of Nek Gayah,my step-grandmother.After that I practiced Bahasa Indonesia with Wanti the maid.After I went home alone.

AND THEN,I went to the stadium,after doing my maghrib.Gombak United vs Young Lions.The Bulls played like the Cows,really.So I had to endure 90 mins of pure crap-play before Kingsley Njoku popped in the winning goal.Final score: 1-0 to Gombak.Wee...

After that,went to McD and bought McSpicy and Coke.And then I made my way home.

Post ends here.Happy Bloghopping.

Awak,hari ni takde benda emo ah.sorry tau.hee.

2009-03-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

You might not remember this,friend,but I do.5 months ago you created the darkest period in my life.You made a toughnut cry.And you made me learn about hatred.
Yet here we are again.Meeting up just now as though it was yesterday.You are still beautiful,I noticed.But somehow,just somehow,I just don't feel the heat inside me anymore.
To tell you the truth,friend,I was deeply revolted by you.Five months ago you betrayed me when we were still what people call a couple.Yet there you were just now,asking me for forgiveness.Almost begging me for a reunion.

Don't get me wrong.I forgave you a couple of months ago.But,dear friend,what you are asking for is impossible.Which man dares to re-open his scars?What man would even dare to think of a troubled past?Everyone thinks forward,dear friend.And I'm thinking forward.To me,you are now just one of the few friends that I have.I swore when I finally decided to forgive you that my sympathy for you doesn't go anywhere beyond this line.

I remember once when I told you that I want to be a part of your life forever.And I still do want to.But only as someone you confide in and seek advice from,not someone you cry and laugh with.I'm sorry,but the Beautiful Stranger I once wrote poems to is no more.

You're normal once again.

-Ishak Johari during lunch @ IMM.

Today was good.I mean,yeah,something really bad happened,but details of it are un-publishable.After lunch I went to Hasanah for my Zohor prayers.Then joined the youths who had just finished camp kelakatu at the youth room.After that I did Asar before going back in before going out again,this time heading for home.Well I wanted to go home,but something inside me just doesn't want to.So I hung out at IMM,and I saw Aisyah Said from Irsyad and Qurcya who's ex-Irsyad.Oh,then I bumped into Shanti,Gombak United cheerleader.

Shanti: eh, you missed one bloody match already know!

Me:busy la chief.bt i still support Gombak one.

Shanti:then you better come tomorrow ah you!

Right.So tomorrow I'll be headed to Jurong West Stadium to watch my favourite team in action.Oh,and if Fazli Hanif is reading this,Shanti says she'll kill you too.Bad luck bro.Bought three cans of Coke in total while at Jurong Point.Good thing there's some running involved too for tomorrow.Reached home at about 7.45,did my Maghrib and then did some research for my bahas.That's all I think.

Happy Bloghopping!

Oh,and of all the people I expected to wake me up,I never dreamed it'll be you,Arfina.
Thank you.

2009-03-17T18:34:00.000+08:00

Jika benar dia untukku,
Bukakanlah pintu hatinya padaku.
Jika benar dia untukku,
Lembutkanlah hatinya,
Agar dapat dia menerimaku.

Jika benar dia ditakdirkan untukku,
Isikanlah fikirannya dengan ingatan padaku,
Dan jika benar dia ditakdirkan untukku,
Janganlah kau hilangkan daku dari hatinya.

Jika kita ditakdirkan bersama,
Kau tabahkanlah hatinya.
Aku insan lemah,selalu berkesilapan.
Tabahkanlah hatinya,agar dapat dia bersamaku.

Aku merasa diri ini bagaikan bernajis.
Disentuh beribu wanita,
Ya Tuhan,kulitnya amat suci.
Kau jagalah kesucian itu dari sentuhanku,
Hinggalah aku mendapat keizinan walinya.

Bantulah perjuanganku ini Ya Tuhan,
Untuk megubah diriku.
Untukmu,dan untuknya.

-Ishak

Actually,this came from one of my after-prayers do'a.Solat apa itu tak perlu tahu.right.updates.

Today was a bit okay-okay.Woke up at 3:30 am,and I can't go back to sleep.so I did something that you should not know about.after that,made brekfast,prepared for school,all this while watching 'Finding Nemo'.classics.I love classics.when the movie ended I made my way to school,but I flet hungry again when I reached Braddell.went to buy pringles.got critisized by the guys for buying it.WTH.whatever.Oh yeh,good luck being good and loyal Malaysians guys!

Had physics practical with Mdm S.but I had mood only for some listening.so when she talked to the class about how to do the experiment,I listened attentively.but when it came to actually doing the experiment itself,I slacked.went and steal sidek's basketball and went off to the court.one chinese guy came up to me and asked for a one-on-one.fine,I said.then hannah the boring monster passed by with her friends and I lost my focus and went behind 0-4 to him.but I didn't lose focus because I was looking at their supposedly-beautiful faces,but it was because they were taunting me.after they left,I regained my strength and went on to beat him 11-5.sweet.so to be good at basketball,I'll just have to ask my audience to turn around and pretend I'm not there.Then my guys arrived.we had a full match with another bunch of chinese guys and....we lost.21-14,21-16.go figure.then I had rushed off to masjid to perform my prayers,and then I took the bus home.reached home,and mum cooked my favourite,asam pedas ikan pari.yeay.just finished eating.and now I'm posting.

And now this post ends.
Go enjoy the rest of your bloghopping.
Go!

Broken Vows

2009-03-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

am at the library with abu and arif,so yeah,this is my first time blogging outside of my house.i know i said that i won't be updating this s**t for a week,but the temptation is too hard to resist.oh yeah,had extra class just now and it was quite.......boring.after class we had bahas discussion which khairul didn't attend,so i will be killing him tomorrow.after that me,arif,alim and abu tried to skip praying at the muhajirin mosque(because we wanted to pray at al-mukminin,not because we are skipping our prayers,mind you),but Allah called us back and we repented.well,THEY repented.there's always a next time for me.haha.

oh.awak,nanti camp baik2 eh?kalau ada lelaki nak kenal2,reject tau.tapi abang tak paksa la.awak ada hak.cuma jangan lupa bilang abang je.

okay that was supposed to be private,but what the hell.i don't know if anything's happening tonight.i think.but bahas discussions are going on pretty intense right now.i'm having a good relationship(finally) with my mum.just hoping that this will last,forever.oh yeah,in case you don't know,i'm writing a book.a storybook.a novel.right now i'm at chapter 4 and having the writer's block.maybe it's because of all the algebra inside my head.maybe it's because there's a real life story going on right now.or maybe i've had too much MSG poisoning.

or maybe i'm just lazy.
plain lazy
yeah,that could be it.

post ends here.click on the other links to hop into other blogspots,but don't hop into Hannah's.
it's dead boring.

2009-03-15T20:19:00.000+08:00

You know what?i'm scared for you.going for that camp thing.god,i hate getting suspicions.hate getting jealous.and i hate thinking about you all the time.to anyone reading this blog,i would like to pose this question.is all this part of love?gee,now i knw why they say it's harmful.

but you know what?i'm not going to stop.i'll keep having you in my heart.sure,i hate thinking about you.but somehow,somewhat,it's the only thing that seems to get me going everyday.it's one of the things that made me want to be a better person.i don't want any guy out there thinking he's better than me to snatch you away from me.yes,you heard it right.i'm unwilling to let you go,and i will do anything to make sure i have a special place in your heart.and if one of the things include changing myself,then hell yeah.i'll do it.(my message for miss A ends here.)

so,today was quite fun.i got bullied by arfina who's two years younger than me.go ahead and laugh,bt that girl is one crazy fella.proposed an idea to abg fad and i'm glad he accepted."if there's one visionary,then it's you."said abg fad."cakap dia pun da mcm ustaz" said mak aka ustazh nooraini.haha.oh,and ,"kalau ustazah ade anak pmpn ustzh calon kan awak"-unknown ustazah.okay,itu tak penting.jangan jealous tau awak.abang masih kepunyaan awak.ate nasi dulang(s) with three other guys.actually it's supposed to be nasi briyani.supposed to.haha.abg fad,start feeling guilty now!right, i know i'm evil.on the way home from Hasanah it rained.actually it's a thunderstorm.caused by me,according to salbiah,because my singing is bad.
saw many things which made me realise how powerful He is.trees with broken branches.a signboard that nearly hit the bus i'm on.everything.You made me feel scared,and i thank You for that.thank you for making me realise that i am human after all.thank you Allah.

reached home and no one's in.but mee soto already on the table.my lucky day.then mum called asking if i would like anything.said no.i'm too tired for anything,except maybe her. ;D

going to school tomorrow.and as i'm sure it'll be a boring day tomorrow,i swear that i will not update this blog for a week.

I love you,everyday,
Every month,Every year.
I love you forever.

emo juga aku ini.slamat sore.

2009-03-14T18:22:00.000+08:00

care.is that a sin?a crime?if so,how do you think my punishment should be like?it's wrong now,isn't it,caring for you?and hey,let me tell you something.if you cant even stand up to correct your friends' wrongs,i doubt if you can even be teaching anyone about religion.you saw your friend doing ikhtila'.you knw what's ikhtila'.how about if you go up to her and tell her it's wrong?i've never even dared to go within 1 metre of you,and here's your friend,doing it.or do you want me to be like that guy?is that it?is that what love is all about?getting together always,holding hands?please,it's still too early.you can call this relationship off you want to.i'm trying to repent here.i'm not conspiring with you in not telling what's right or wrong.

i love you.bt the love i have been dreaming about involves me only satisfying myself only by looking into your eyes.and i want you to be strong.please,try for some strength.you showed me me potential and i love and respect you for that.but please.honestly,i dont like the company you keep.they are wild.you are not.you are miss goody two-shoes and i love you for that.so,please.i beg you because i love you.

this has been emotional.bt i cant keep it in any longer.sorry guys,for that outburst.now for the update.

didnt go to school because i was lazy.so i went to someplace much nearer.not telling you where though.had some fun at that place,but then again that's also when the emotions began building up inside me.i love her.and yes,i admit it.i get jealous at times without any particular reason at all.maybe thats just me.emo ishak.and salbiah,kau tak proud ke abg fad ckp kiteorg 2 da young adults?tak lama lagi kita tak pakai uniform la eh sis?i cant wait to see juwina's face when i graduate and tell her she's still got one more year to go.and arfina too.and i would also like to take this oppurtunity to congratulate and egg on kak farhana.jarang ishak dengar budak ITE ke masjid.syabas kak.kalau banyak orang lagi mcm kakak mesti orang2 lain ubanh tanggapan mereka tentang budak ITE.so keep it up,sis!

am going to be busy for the whole week.bahas discussions.library trip(if it's confirmed) and lots of other un-said stuff.till here i guess.bubbye.

remember,i still love you.
just try for some strength okay?

10th week of term 1

2009-03-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

being happy is a great feeling.but then there's also something called balance.if you are too happy about something,as in very happy,it's hard to concentrate on the other things you are doing.well,i found that out the hard way this week.in fact,i consider myself very lucky because it's the last week of term one, so the studying is either non-existent or the topics that requires studying are easy.

you dont have to ask what im happy about.its just that im very happy right now.period.now for the updates on my life this week.

so,monday.revised for the math mock exam which was on tuesday.that was about the most productive thing i have been able to do.went home,and mum wasn't cooking.went out and bought instant noodles.

tuesday.mock exam.i think i did well because thats the first time i have been able to answer all the questions in a maths paper.went on a library trip to bishan.did project work about terrorism with khairul,harith and hafiz.then fahmi called asking if can hang out with me,so i hung out with him till 6 o'clock.went home.mum not cooking again.instant noodles.more msg poisining.

wednesday.did the presentation on terrorism and communism.communism was my fish,so im the expert for the day explaining to my naive audience whose definition of communism is that "all men are equal".went to science centre with the sec 1's.this sec 1 girl kept glancing at me.i responded in the most gentlemanly way.i glared at her.hah,sorry babe.im attached and happy.went home.no food from mum.poisoned myself again.

thursday.did another math mock test.did insya for the first time.did geography with mr ismail.did history with mdm b.she said that my answers for the essay questions are still below level 1.was disappointed.bt nvm.buck up ishak.went home.poisoned myself again.

TODAY.had maulidul rasul.watched from the sidelines.didnt perform.stage fright still there.did chemistry.akanes are simple.but from the way mr m explained it,it's like it really belongs to the rocket science category.went home.AND MUM COOKED!finally,no more msg poisoning.dont get me wrong.im happy eith my mum.i love her.bt eating instant noodles for four straight days just ain't right,right?

post ends here.is it long?

new.

2009-03-12T21:20:00.000+08:00

Well,hi. Ive never blogged before so,if you're a genius,you'll know that this is my first foray into blogging. I don't know what to do or expect from blogging,so,yeah,pretty much clueless.

right.so my name's ishak johari.currently im seventeen,go to school at madrasah al-irsyad and am a half-slacker because this year's O level year.so i can't/musn't/will not screw up.im attached,with the most beautiful girl in the worl,ms A.at the time of posting,nothing much has happened so im will not post much.oh,my posts will be short because im not much of a post-er anyway.so i'll just come,tell the world what it wants to hear(if there IS a world who will listen to me.),and then i'll be off.just like now.bubbye.